K-Oma!
by LordByronMudkippington
Summary: After a terrible accident befalls Mio Akiyama, she's forced to try to adjust back into life, while at the same time her friends have been trying hard to push her memory out.
1. Chapter I - Years of Black

**Author's Notes:** Hello! So, this isn't my first story on here. Hell, it isn't even my first K-On! story on here. I swear I'll finish that one; I've just lately been bouncing from story to story, which definitely includes this one. I'm actually pretty late to the K-On! party. Hell, the movie ended things in 2011, yet I never even watched it until last month. But it's inspired me to write about it, particularly about Mio. There's something lovable about the shy, aloof girl. Unfortunately, I'm not a happy writer, so it's not gonna get much better for her, alas. The basis of this story is a loose shout-out to one of my favorite books: 'The Dead Zone' by Stephen King. Just without the magic mind powers. I've decided to change things up a little bit by, at the end of each chapter, adding some lyrics about (sometimes loosely about) the events at hand. These are lyrics that I've personally written, so they're not exactly fluffy-fluff HTT stuff. I would love to hear from anyone who ends up reading this, though! I'm not altogether sure how reviews work (I guess they're per chapter? But I don't know.), but I would still love to hear from you, either via review or PM if so. What you enjoy, what you loathe, why it's not a Mitsu story (man, there are a lot of Mitsu stories). Anyway, that's all from me. Enjoy!

* * *

Darkness. It had felt like the crippling, fearful night had been upon her sight for years, yet only an instant simultaneously. She didn't know why she thought that; she didn't even know if she was thinking at all. At times, she was running down the rain-strewn street, though she never knew whether she was running towards something or away. Then she'd be with her friends, but how she arrived there she never knew. They would never look at her, and when she attempted to speak she could never hear her voice. How long this went on for, she couldn't even guess. It felt like a second. It felt like a lifetime. Nothing lasts forever, however, and soon the black was lifted to reveal the stormy, clouded, and confused gray. Overcast eyes blinked slowly, hesitantly, as if the action was foreign. Things were still dark, but it felt different now, as if there was truly light somewhere to shine upon her confusion. The bed felt weird; how she knew without a second thought was unknown, but she could tell this bed was not her own. At the very least though, she was aware enough to believe that she had been sleeping. All of those strange images, those activities that played out all wrong; they must have been dreams. They weren't real, but was this real? It felt real, so perhaps it was. She could see the ceiling now, and so she knew that she was in a room. The ceiling was unfamiliar though, and so was the bed. "Where... Where am I?" Her voice sounded hoarse, unused. She barely recognized it. When she sat up, long, untamed hair fell in her eyes, and when she went to brush it away her hand froze in midair. A small needle-like object was stuck in her hand, attached to a long, clear tube that continued out of her field of view. Where was she?

It was at that point she realized there was something on her face. Gently placing a finger on it, she figured it was some kind of breathing mechanism, with another tube in her nose to match the one in her hand. As her mind began to awaken more and more, panic began to set in as she desperately tried to recall what had happened. Her eyes desperately scanned the room, and she finally reached the conclusion that she was in a hospital room. This was a hospital bed, and up there was the hospital ceiling. That would explain why she didn't recognize anything; this wasn't her room. She was no longer dreaming, that was for sure, but it felt as if she had woken up into a nightmare. Every attempt at conjuring up a memory that might explain her current situation brought nothing but fog, and her body wouldn't even respond naturally to the onset of panic. Something then caught her eye, and she slowly titled her head to the left to look at a small wooden table. It was situated next to a large machine, a green line bouncing rhythmically across its blackened screen. On the table sat two items: a silver vase with four deceased flowers sitting glumly inside, and a very deflated balloon. How long had she been here? A small, scared 'help' passed her lips, but no one was there to answer her. She was alone.

She laid there for hours, trapped on the bed alone with nothing but her jumbled and confused thoughts for company. After careful exhaustion of her surroundings, she had found no trace of her cellphone. Something in her mind told her that trying to leave would not end well, so she just laid there without a semblance of knowledge as to why she was in the hospital. At the same time, her mind was telling her that closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep would be just as disastrous, so she stayed awake and stared at the ceiling. Occasionally she'd change things up and look at the wall instead. Her friends. She remembered that part of her dream. Where were they? Their faces wouldn't appear in her mind, but she could tell that they existed outside of her mind, but they weren't there. The curtains were drawn shut, so she couldn't tell what time of day it was, but she figured it must've been really late. With all of that time within her own mind, she came to realize that she'd had many dreams; too many to be normal. She couldn't fully remember them all, but she knew they'd happened. How long had she been asleep? Suddenly, a change to the lighting situation by the curtains drew her attention, and she could see a tiny sliver of light trying to fight its way into the run. "Then it must be dawn." As soon as she spoke those words, the door to her room opened and she heard a shocked exclamation. "Miss Akiyama, you're awake!"

* * *

She was sitting up now, having taken some time to get used to the artificial light beaming down on her. The tubing and machines had been removed, and she could finally move a bit more freely, but things weren't right. Things were different. Her legs felt horribly weak, and her skin was ungodly pale. When she touched her long, raven locks, she could tell they had been washed, but not cut, and she could not remember ever having her hair this long. Then again, she couldn't remember much regardless. Her parents. That was something she could remember, and they were sitting by her side, looks of unrelenting joy and relief plastered on their faces. Maybe that was the emotion she was to feel as well, but all Mio Akiyama could feel was confusion and an itching sense of dread. Nobody had yet told her why she was here. Before she could ask though, the nurse who had originally found her awake interjected. "Miss Akiyama, do you remember what happened?" The question sent a tingle of annoyance down her spine. That was the question she specifically wanted answered! Her body felt too weak to show any emotion though, so all she could do was shake her head slightly. The nurse gave a slightly fretful look towards Mio's parents; she didn't like that look. "Mio-chan..." That was her mother. She turned her head slightly to focus on her instead. "You were in a car accident." There it was.

Mio's eyes widened slightly as a memory came back fitfully but forcefully into her mind. Calling it a car accident was a tad misleading, though it was an accident, and it did involve a car. She could remember walking home from practice. She could see her friends there, faceless like in her dreams. She couldn't see the car until it was too late. A loud scream, one owned by someone unfamiliar, roared in her head, and she felt like someone had snapped part of her memory back into place. "That car..." she murmured quietly, almost to herself. "I didn't see it..." She could see something akin to more relief on the others' faces with her remembrance of the occurrence, but having the memory back for herself didn't bring much comfort. As the seconds ticked by, the memory of that day became clearer and clearer, but something wasn't right: she didn't feel pain. There should have been pain after such an accident, but the only thing that felt wrong were her legs, and she could tell with admitted relief that they still worked. There was still movement within them, they were just weak, potentially from lying in a bed for hours. How many hours though? "School..." That was the next murmur to pass her lips. Graduation had happened so recently; the time between their exodus from high school and the journey to university hadn't even begun. "I... I still graduated, right?" She didn't know why she asked that question, for as more and memories began to overtake and bog down her brain, having already graduated came to mind. So yes, she had, that much was certain. Another look was passed between the nurse and her parents. She liked that look even less.

"Miss Akiyama... Mio, it was... It was a really bad accident." The nurse was looking at her with sad and understanding eyes. Mio wished she'd look away. "When you were taken here, you were alive, but..." But what? Why was she being so hesitant? The raven-haired girl looked towards her parents, but the look in their eyes was eerily similar. What was with that look? "You had fallen into a coma." Oh. The expression on her face didn't change, but she was no longer looking at her parents, or the nurse. She was staring at the wall, through the wall, someplace that wasn't there. It was as if her mind had detached itself from reality to cushion the blow of such horrid news.

"A... A coma...?" No, it couldn't be. Just yesterday she had been fine. She had been planning for university with her friends. It... was yesterday, wasn't it? "How long?..." She couldn't finish the sentence, but she didn't have to; everyone else understood what she wanted to know, though in some way she really didn't want to know, as if ignorance would make it just disappear.

"Three years." Three years. Her mind went blank at this point, staring emptily through the wall. Tears softly began to fall from her eyes, but she didn't even realize she was crying; she was completely numb. It wasn't possible. Three years of her life, just... gone. Suddenly, she began to laugh, a laugh that threw her for a loop just as much as it did the others. It wasn't funny, but still she laughed, laughed until she could laugh no more, a dull pain in her head and in her chest.

"Ahaha, three years... Good one. Did... did..." The sentence made sense in her mind. _'Did she put you up to this?'_ But who was 'she'? She couldn't remember clearly, and so the sentence died in the sterile hospital air. One thought was now in her mind, one that took precedence over all the others: she had to get out of here. "I want to go home now." That same look. What the hell was with that look?!

"Mio, your legs have atrophied since you were admitted here. We can't let you leave until you've built back up your strength." The nurse's voice was sweet, but it sounded overly-cloying in Mio's head. Atrophied? It couldn't have been three years. It had to be a joke. A sick, sick joke. They wouldn't let her leave, though. Not until she got her strength back. They didn't say how long she'd be forced to stay here. The confused girl - forced by the passage of time to age unknowingly into a young woman - fell silent as the nurse spoke to her parents, and she didn't acknowledge any of them when they left. Her mother and father both gave her a hug, but she stared right past them, and she tried to ignore their sad expressions as they left her alone in the white hospital room. Something in her mind told her to cry. It told her to scream, to defy her parents, her nurse, and run away, run until she had escaped the hell she was trapped in. Something told her these things would happen, but they didn't now. Instead she stared silently at the wall, trying to imagine how the old - the younger - version of herself would have reacted in such a situation. But she remembered nothing.

* * *

 **-lyrics- Years of Black**

Trapped, locked, no key in my hand  
I'm failing to understand  
I don't remember who I am  
I feel like I'm nothing  
The darkness grasping at my heels  
I don't know what I'm to feel  
The memories have been concealed  
Have I turned out to be nothing?

But I'm falling between my dreams  
No, nothing now is what it seems  
I pray to God to save me now  
But if he can, I don't know how

[Chorus]  
I'm a prisoner of my own mind  
Dragged forward by the sands of time  
I've forgotten what it's like to be  
The person that used to be me  
And I struggle against the rising tide  
Washing out places to hide  
Terrified and all alone  
In this place I've called my home  
But now I'm forced to breathe again  
To relive all the strife and pain  
So now I must pick up the slack  
When I wake from years of black

A detour to the end of time  
Has me in an awful bind  
I know I'm stuck inside my mind  
Though I breathe once more  
Why does no one hear my cries?  
When did it all go awry?  
When did I last see the sky?  
I don't know what life has in store

But I'm falling between my dreams  
No, nothing is now what it seems  
I pray to God to show the way  
But he's been quiet everyday

[Chorus]


	2. Chapter II - Amnesia Falls

**Author Notes:** I don't have much to say, except thank you to all who read chapter one! My mind has temporarily been occupied with Love Live!, though I haven't seen the show in months (I actually watched episode one again last night, though). No excuse to be slacking, though! To my first reviewer (extremeracer19), I say: eheheh, whoops. I will admit I did read this _after_ I had written this chapter, but I definitely get what you're saying. That would not be the first time someone's mentioned my gigantic paragraphs. Apparently I just don't stop bunching them all together. It's definitely something I'll be keeping in mind for chapter three, though! And with that, enjoy.

* * *

A week went by. Despite the exercises and the encouragement from the doctors, Mio felt as weak as ever. The inability to even stand up and walk around the room was driving her crazy, but the large amount of time she spent alone was worse. She felt betrayed: betrayed by the unknown person who had put her into a coma, by her friends who never came around, though their names and faces had yet to return to her mind, and by God for stealing three years of her life away. Normally she was not a person prone to emotional outbursts, but nearly every day she found herself crying miserably and angrily when she was alone. With all of the free time she had on her hands, she had begun attempting to piece back together the broken puzzle that was her life. Most of her memories from the first seventeen years of life had begun to return; eating with her parents, taking classes, even buying her bass. The lessons she'd learned while in school and all the times she'd spent practicing her instrument came back over that week, sometimes too quickly for her to immediately comprehend, but there they were. Then why couldn't she remember the people she'd spent nearly her entire life around? She could feel them prickling at the back of her mind; she had seen them in her dreams, and at the all-too-real scene of her accident, but their faces did not form in her memory, their voices unable to be conjured in her ears. All she knew was that, whoever they were, they weren't there, and it made her feel greatly unhappy.

One day, in the middle of her second week in the hospital, she asked the nurse if she could have her bass. She really wanted to try playing it again, to bring back some semblance of normalcy to her life. The nurse was more than happy to comply, and that night she sat up in her bed and attempted to play. Suffice it to say it wasn't pretty. Despite having memories of playing the instrument for years, her fingers didn't seem eager to cooperate, and the often-twangy and muted sound didn't appease her ears at all. She kept at it, though. When sad thoughts would wash over her, she'd grab her bass and start to play. Even though she couldn't play well anymore, it was a distraction from being dragged down by her dark thoughts. Her music player had been brought to her alongside her instrument, and she found a temporary sanctuary within the sounds that leaked pleasurably from her headphones. The band that she enjoyed listening to the most wasn't one she could remember entirely, but they seemed familiar, and she found pleasure in picking out the bass within the songs and attempting to emulate it. For the rest of the week, she spent most of her free time attempting to regain her playing ability, chasing the skillful picking of the bassist in the songs. The doctors were encouraged by the upturn in her mood.

* * *

A month since the end of her coma was fast approaching, and the doctors were telling her it wouldn't be long before she could be taken home. The news cheered her up somewhat, but she was also apprehensive about what would await her once there. At the very least, her bass skills had improved dramatically, and she got a continuous sense of joy whenever she'd play something. Each day had seemed to bring a new, seemingly long-forgotten memory back, and it was almost as if she hadn't missed anything at all. But she knew that those three years would never be returned to her, and she didn't know much about what had happened in that time. Her mother spent some time every week telling her about what she had missed, and occasionally she'd delve into the past and tell Mio about her friends. Her friends... She now knew all of their names, but who they truly were was still a mystery. Azusa, Mugi, Ritsu, Yui... The names didn't mean anything to her anymore. They made her angry, though. She knew it was wrong to feel so negatively about one's friends, but they had spent the last three years in university, with the education that she would never receive, with the friendship that they no longer deemed her worthy to share in. Besides her parents, no one had come to visit her, and it gnawed away at her heart. Only the constant strum of her bass kept her grounded and away from delving deeper into the negative thoughts that desperately tried to worm their way into her broken heart. Maybe she wasn't remembering her life correctly. Maybe she had been a mean person, and nobody had liked her.

A visitor finally arrived. Mio had been playing a favorite riff of hers from one of the songs on her music player when she happened to look towards the door and saw a girl standing there. The girl seemed rather short, with short purple-black hair to match. Her face was pale and looked a combination of overjoyed and distraught; a weird combination. Ruby eyes that seemed one step away from an onslaught of tears took in the entire sight before her, and then the waterworks began. Mio's own eyes widened in surprise, initially confused by such a display, but then something began to click in her mind. This must be one of her friends! Who they were though? That wasn't so easy. She had four choices to go by, but she couldn't even hazard a guess. "You're... one of my friends, right?" That kicked the waterworks into overdrive.

"Mio-senpai!" The sobbing girl rushed forward before stopping herself, seemingly torn on whether to grab the bedridden Mio into an extraordinarily tight hug or to not touch her in fear of breaking her. Choosing the latter, she made her way to the side of the bed, tears falling onto the sheets below. "M-Mio-senpai, y-you don't remember me?" Mio felt guilty. It had seemed so much easier to hate her supposed friends while they were not here, but now that one was there crying her eyes out, any vile feelings were unable to surface.

"Azusa, Mugi, Ritsu, Yui." She automatically rattled off the names her mother had told her, but she didn't know which ones fit where. "My mother told me your names, but I... I don't remember who are you." She said it apologetically, like she had a choice to forget them.

"A-Azusa. Th-that's my name." The girl known as Azusa had stopped crying, but tears still hung unfallen from her eyes as she leaned down and gave Mio a gentle hug, her body shaking slightly. "Oh Mio-chan, I can't believe you're alive..." Something clicked. A memory of a short, twin-tailed girl standing before her, listening to her play. Then another memory; a weird one of the same girl wearing cat ears for some reason. Then like a steadily-dripping faucet more started to pour down into her brain, until she placed her hands on the girl's shoulders and stared into her somber ruby eyes.

"Azusa..." She murmured softly, feeling as if one of the large walls still remaining inside her brain was crumbling down. "What happened to your hair?" A happy squeal emitted from her, and without answering Mio she nearly crushed the bedridden girl in a huge hug, forcing her to tap on Azusa's shoulder until she let her go with a breathy apology. Something was on her mind though, and it overrode her original question in terms of importance. "Azusa, where are..." She planned on listing their names out again, but it sounded weird and formal in the situation, so she bit back those specific words. "... the others? They haven't come to visit me." Hurt crept quietly into her voice, but it was noticeable enough to Azusa, who stiffened slightly before relaxing, a motion that was equally noticed by her older friend.

"Oh, they haven't finished their exams yet. They'll be... They'll be here by next week." There was a cheerful smile on her face, but it seemed forced, and she looked nervous when Mio gave her a suspicious look. "It's just been so busy! I only just finished my exams, and rushed down her to see you. We all were so excited when we heard you were awake!" _Excited._ Her voice went up a pitch, however slight, on that word. It only made Mio more suspicious, and bad thoughts slowly began to creep into her mind. Still, she didn't want Azusa to leave when the nurse came in to tell her that Mio needed her rest. She wanted to protest, but all she could do was wave to her friend as she left. She would be going home soon, at least. That would be exciting. _Excited..._

* * *

The ride home was quiet. There was an air of awkwardness even between parents and their child being in the same space after three years of nothing. Mio's mind was clouded with unease regardless, so she didn't feel all that eager to break the silence, and it continued all the way home. Once the car stopped, she had to have her father help her inside, as her legs were still too weak to support a walk of such simple distance. It felt humiliating, but at least no one else was around to see. Once they reached her room, she grabbed the doorknob and assured her father she'd be fine by herself now, only allowing herself inside when he'd left. When she stepped into her room however, she got quite a surprise. Next to her bed was a folding table, bogged down with many items. Stepping closer, she realized they were get well cards, presents, people whose names she couldn't recognize hoping she'd break free from her coma and return to them. It was a lot to take, and she could feel heavy emotions rising up inside her. She had to turn away in order to not start crying on the cards, gratitude and confusion mixed together in her tears. All those people must have liked her when they were sent... but what about now? Had she been down too long? Did they all no longer care whether or not she was alive? She didn't know whether to feel encouraged or distraught, and it brought her mind great discomfort.

When she laid in bed that night, her eyes stayed fixed to the ceiling. Nearly an hour had gone by, but she'd refused to close her eyes for more than a few tense moments. Sure, she had slept at the hospital, but before that she had undergone a long sleep. Now she was terrified that, if she closed her eyes again, she would slip back into that coma, and this time no one would care enough to save her. So she refused sleep, and eventually she got up and spent the entire night looking through stuff within her room and just... remembering everything. There were many texts on her phone, which she had found sitting on top of her desk, but were none after what seemed like a two week period after the accident. A part of her mind tried to assure her that it made sense, since there was no point in texting someone that wasn't there, but it made her angry all the same. For a moment, she considered texting Azusa, but she may have gotten a new number since then, and it was nearly two anyway, so she thought better of it. Most of the night, she was just left to her own devices, lost within her own thoughts. It wasn't a good night, and she was exhausted and sluggish come morning.

 **-lyrics- Forgotten**  
Oh how I've fallen through the cracks of time  
Forced to undertake a ruthless climb  
And it's taken by myself; I see no one else there  
What am I to think besides no one else cares?  
It hurts, but I climb all the same  
Nothing more but a forgotten name  
Will you remember who I am?  
Or am I now the sacrificed lamb?

[Chorus]  
I don't feel safe in my own arms  
Your voice brings nothing but alarm  
It scares me to know what you're thinking  
If in your mind I'm only sinking  
I'm calling, but I don't hear a sound  
I only want you to be around  
I want you to remember that I'm here too  
Even if I have forgotten you

Hurtling through dreams though I never sleep  
For fear that Death may yet come to reap  
I'm scared of even closing my eyes  
For fear that I won't wake up alive  
Don't take me yet; I just got back  
My life has yet to get on track  
But I run, I run, trying to find  
The person who lurks inside my mind  
The one who makes me feel alone  
I just want you to take me home

[Chorus]


	3. Chapter III - Phoenix Memories

**Author's Notes:** 8/12/15 - So this chapter came out in July. It's been over a month! What's with this August thing? Well, a lot of things are changing in this chapter. When I originally wrote this chapter, I was in a pretty poor place, and it was rushed. I didn't like it the moment I published it, and it just took some motivation to do what I should have done a long time ago: rewrite it. This is definitely the story's least popular chapter, and maybe its most decisive, so I want to try and fix that. Of course, over a month has passed, and I know it's probably too late to get previous readers to return to it, but I wanted to do this to make sure every chapter was as strong as the one that came before, and the one that would come afterwards. I even wrote a completely different set of lyrics for it. If you've come back to this chapter, don't worry: you don't have to re-read the entire story! I've written this so that no one has to read everything all over again to get it. Hopefully it'll still hold the same value and information as the previous version, but just written better. Man, I sure didn't do any of that line breaking I promised to do before, geeze.

So, I hope that everyone who returns and sees this chapter can read it and feel that it's just as strong as the other chapters. As for those who are just starting to read this story, I hope I haven't confused you! You can continue to read without worrying about the sub-parness of how this chapter used to be.

* * *

Sleep came fitfully and unwanted. The fear of falling back into that horrible mental prison meant forcing herself awake even when she was desperate for rest. Nobody except for Azusa came by for a week. When Mio asked, her junior gave vague answers while attempting to hide a rather nervous expression, an expression she couldn't look past. It made bitter thoughts start to plague her exhausted mind, and by the next week she had locked herself in her room, refusing even Azusa entry. If her 'friends' were done with their university year, why hadn't they come visit her?

Disgusting, shameful thoughts began to be the only things that could keep her up, though they made her want to double over in mental anguish. Thoughts she never wanted to entertain set up camp in her mind and wouldn't vacate, and with that her feelings towards her friends fell further and further into negativity. She couldn't even stop the word 'hate' from rearing up within her; she hated them. There had to be some reason why they weren't coming to see her, but when nothing came to mind, she became swamped by feelings of anger and self-doubt. Was her very existence a burden now?

While trying to stave off sleep again, she came across a plain manila folder that was on top of her dresser. She had glanced at it from time to time, but hadn't felt the need to go over and peruse its contents. Now, however, she needed anything to keep her awake, so she flipped it open and looked inside. There were pictures; many of them. They must have been at least three years old, because she was in them, and so were her friends. She recognized them from her dreams, but now she could put clearer faces to their previously blurry visages. They all seemed very… happy.

Every time she had looked in the mirror, a very dour expression had greeted her, but here a genuine smile beamed back at her in nearly every picture. While she didn't remember most of the pictures occurring, she could recognize the locations: the school, outside of her home, at the train station. The names of her friends still eluded her as well, but they all seemed happy. It was almost like she could reach out and touch those moments in time, to re-insert herself back before everything had been thrown off course. Slender fingers reached out to touch the frozen, smiling faces, small teardrops falling down onto what was uncovered. Why was fate so cruel as to take her life away? She was still alive, but it felt as if she was alive in her own world, where no one else wanted to enter. Why didn't anyone else care?

* * *

She cried over the pictures, then closed the folder and slammed it down on the desk, slumping down onto her bed in a daze. Her emotions were threatening to destroy her with how destructive and confusing they were, and she wished for perhaps the hundredth time that she had not been dealt such a terrible hand. When she fell asleep, it wasn't deliberate, but she was exhausted from crying, from staying awake, from everything. She no longer held the drive to work with her fears, and so she slept, dream after dream weaving through her mind, almost all formless. Occasionally something halfway recognizable appeared to her, but it was gone before she could fully understand, and then she was floating through unstable dreamscapes again. Darkness enveloped her dreams, and she forced her eyes open to stare at the ceiling. It was dark in the room, shadows shifting unseen across the floor.

With a desperate grab, she snatched her phone from her side and checked the date. As far as she could tell, she'd been asleep for nearly eighteen hours. That was a hell of a lot of time to sleep, but considering how long she'd slept previously, she felt an immense sigh of relief. Without really thinking about it, she had already dialed Azusa's number and put the phone to her ear. It rang three times, followed by what sounded like a very sleepy Azusa. "H-hello?"

"Azusa…" Mio's voice broke, her composure easily cracked. "I-I need to talk to you. Can you please come over?" There was silence on the other line, and for a moment Mio thought maybe her friend had fallen back to sleep, but the line came back to life as Azusa blurted out a hurried answer.

"Y-yeah, of course, Mio-senpai! I'll be right over, okay?" The line went dead, and Mio dropped her phone onto the bed, flopping back down with a sigh. It didn't take long for her to jolt back up, remembering how late it was and how likely her parents were already asleep. As silently as she could, she tip-toed downstairs and waited at the front door until she saw Azusa walking up through the peephole. Luckily her parents stayed asleep as she nearly dragged her friend up the stairs and into her room.

* * *

"Where are they, Azusa?" Those were the first words Mio said upon the two of them sitting on her bed, the question causing the younger girl to become visibly nervous again, but Mio placed her hands firmly on the dark-haired girl's shoulders. "Don't lie to me." Her eyes held more conviction than they had at any time since she had woken up, though she could tell that Azusa was still considering not telling the truth, perhaps just to spare her feelings. The very nervous-looking girl fidgeted with her hands folded in her lap, opening and closing her mouth as if attempting to figure out what to say. Staring directly at her, Mio almost willed her to speak.

"Mio-senpai… Do you know why I cut my hair?" The question caught Mio off guard, not having expected to have her question parried back with another. At the moment, she really wanted to know the answer to her own question, but if this somehow led to it, she was willing to bite her tongue and wait it out. She merely shook her head in response. "When you were… hurt, everyone missed you a lot, Ritsu-senpai especially. She didn't even want to go to university without you." _Ritsu…_ That name still seemed to loom larger in her mind then the others, but she didn't know why. Perhaps they were closer friends, but only Azusa had come to see her, so could that really be true? "And I… I wanted to lessen their pain, so… Y-you know, they used to say we could be sisters." It felt like she should've known what Azusa was getting at, but Mio's mind was blank, showing in her cloudy eyes.

"So I just stopped tying up my hair. I left it down to look just like yours. I even tried adopting some of your mannerisms, just so it was like you'd never left, b-but… It didn't feel right, and Yui-senpai especially didn't like it. It was so stupid." Azusa laughed softly, but it clearly wasn't an amusing memory for her. "All I wanted was to make everyone happy, but... I had to stop before I… I…" A dark, unhappy look came over her eyes when she spoke about Yui, and once again Mio felt guilty. There was something that she was missing, but she had no clue what it could be. However, a clearer picture was starting to form about her own question. The fog began to dissipate as she began to understand, in a way, what Azusa was getting at.

"They don't want to see me, do they?" There was no response, but the way Azusa looked gave Mio all the information she needed. So it was true. A stab of pain went through her heart, but another emotion began to rear its ugly head: anger. It fueled her, guiding her on her next course of action. "I want to see them."

"N-now?!" Azusa's eyes lit up with shock, and she immediately tried to dissuade Mio from her idea. "M-Mio-senpai, it's so late! Wouldn't you rather sleep on it instead?"

"No, I've slept enough. I want to talk to them now." There wasn't any anger in her voice, but instead steeled determination, something that Azusa couldn't stop regardless, so instead she just sighed and nodded slowly. The last thing she wanted was for Mio to go out looking for them alone. She'd never forgive herself if something happened to the still-weakened young woman. So, reluctantly, she helped Mio sneak out of her house and led her to Ritsu's. It was the closest - they practically were neighbors - so this stop would be the quickest, though not quite the easiest. Azusa quickly shot off a text, telling Ritsu that she was at the house and she had something she desperately needed to discuss. Luckily - or maybe unluckily - Ritsu was still up and said she'd be right down. The dark-haired girl held Mio to keep her steady, or perhaps herself steady, as she held her breath. Just as she let go and exhaled, Ritsu opened the door. The look on the her face quickly went from confusion to understanding. "Ah... I should have known."

That voice of resignation didn't sit well with Mio, but she wasn't sure why. She stared at Ritsu, looking her up and down, but the same memories that had flooded back to her upon seeing Azusa didn't occur when seeing her other friend. There were a lot of emotions, though: fear, nervousness, relief, and anger all rolled into one. "Ritsu..." The name felt foreign on her tongue, yet it seemed so familiar.

"It's really late, Mio. This isn't... Can't we do this another time?" Mio's eyes widened with surprise, suddenly at a loss for words. Another time? She was being dismissed without a chance to even speak. That look of determination flashed in her eyes, though: she wasn't going away without a chance to speak.

"No, I don't want to wait any longer. I thought my friends would want to see me since I came home, but I haven't seen any of you at all." Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Azusa wringing her hands nervously, but the majority of her attention was focused on Ritsu and the tired expression on her face. Not one of exhaustion, but an expression of one who was just... done. Still, she pressed on. "Do you know how much it hurts to have your friends ignore you when you need them the most?"

"You're not the only one hurting, Mio!" The raven-haired girl was taken aback by the sudden force within Ritsu's words, and it cast her into silence. "It's been three years, and we thought you would never wake up. We all have tried to keep going, and now that we're finally getting back on track, you show up again. Things aren't the same anymore!"

"Why can't they be?" Mio felt a prickling of guilt for their other neighbors, as the two girls were now yelling at each other in the dead of night, but she didn't want to end it; not now. She couldn't understand why Ritsu was so insistent on blocking her out. Sure, things weren't the same, and she wasn't foolish enough to believe so, but what good was it if they didn't try?

"They just can't!"

"That's no excuse at all!"

"You're so naive, Mio!" The words cut through Mio like a knife, and she froze in place, staring at Ritsu like a deer caught in the headlights. "Things don' t happen just because you want them to! We've... I've... I can't deal with this, Mio. Not right now, I just can't." With a soft sigh, she stepped back into the house, one hand on the door. "Please, just... take care of yourself first, okay?" And with that, she was gone, the door softly closing behind her. Mio didn't realize Azusa was tightly clutching her hand; she barely even remembered the younger girl was there at all.

Pain engulfed her heart and clenched down like a vise, hurting her in ways she never knew were possible. Her mind was blaring at her, telling her to scream, to cry, to run and wrench the door open to confront Ritsu, but none of these things happened. She just stood there staring at the door, Azusa's harried apologies muted in her ears. It had happened so quickly: before she could even make a convincing argument, Ritsu was gone. Suddenly she felt very trapped, locked out from those she had once called her friends. They didn't want to see her anymore. It was a perfect time to cry, but no tears would come. Instead she just stood there, staring at the door that walled her off from the life that had been stolen from her.

 **-lyrics- Say My Name  
** I wake up to a world that's forgotten me  
With hurt replacing my memories  
A lifetime's passed before my eyes  
In a place where I was supposed to die  
Breathing brings me no relief  
As fate is acting as a thief  
Stealing what's rightfully mine  
Leaving my soul lost in time

[Chorus]  
I'm begging down upon my knees  
I don't know who I'm supposed to be  
But you're the one who holds the key  
Just swear that you won't forget me  
My heart is caged in walls of pain  
The hurt is driving me insane  
Save me from this realm of shame  
Hold me close and say my name

I fight each day for one more breath  
To escape the closest thing to death  
Please don't just leave me out to dry  
I finally returned, but you said goodbye  
But I still fight to stay awake  
To fix the things I never saw break  
A bridge that we can cross together  
So that I'm not alone forever

[Chorus]


	4. Chapter IV - Peace of Heart

**Author's Notes:** Was ten days enough to get over my weird emotional swings? Probably not, but I did continue to write, so that probably counts for something. I decided, at least for this chapter, that I'd leave off the lyrics I'd been writing for the other chapters. I just couldn't really think of anything just right for this one, so I do apologize for that. I still would love to hear from all of you about how you feel about the story so far, writing style, etc. Well, I have a lot of questions, but they're probably best left for some other time. Enjoy!

 **Edit:** I've made a slight adjustment to one portion of Mugi's dialogue so it falls in line with the following chapters.

* * *

She didn't know how she got home. Azusa's fervent apologies had fallen on mostly-deaf ears, and Mio had only softly requested to be taken home. That's what she remembered most clearly. She could only assume that Azusa had agreed, as that was where she was now, but it was all just a blur. In her mind, she was still standing on the sidewalk, watching Ritsu, her friend - or perhaps that was former friend now? - shut the door in her face. Azusa wasn't there now: she had told the apologetic girl to go home before she got in trouble, so off she went with a reluctant look on her face. Mio barely noticed. Three years was such a long time...

Throughout the entirety of the next day, she had her bass in her hands, cleaning it, playing it, anything to distract her mind from diving back into that pool of negativity. With her headphones in her ears, she was effectively cut off from the outside world, getting lost in the music of the band that she'd grown so fond of since returning to the waking world. _After School Tea Time._ The name sounded nice, like it held a meaning that Mio had yet to figure out, but their playing was the only thing now that could bring a smile, however slight, to her face. She'd listened to their songs enough that she could play the bass parts by heart, and it admittedly brightened her mood to know that her playing was returning to an acceptable, even comfortable listening-to level. Now, when she listened to the music, it was to pick up the lyrics. The singing was very nice, rather soothing, and Mio quite enjoyed the dual-singing that showed up from time to time. The lyrics were quite corny, but it didn't bother her as much as she may have originally anticipated. It was her escape from all of the turmoil whirling like a tornado within her mind, and she was grateful to the members of the band for creating such music. She wished she knew where she'd found their music.

* * *

She couldn't play forever. Eventually, her fingers started to get sore, and she was forced to stop, which allowed the negative thoughts to start clawing their way back in. Pressing her palms against her forehead, she tried to force them out through sheer willpower, but it was a losing battle. In desperation, she grabbed her phone in order to call Azusa again, but she'd bothered the poor girl enough, hadn't she? With at least a touch of curiosity, she began to scroll through the numbers that were in her phone. Cringing when Ritsu's name popped up, another one caught her eye: Kotobuki Tsumugi. That must be Mugi, the blonde girl from the pictures. She needed something to keep her occupied... and that was it! When she first spent time with Azusa, a bunch of memories had returned to her. Maybe the same thing would happen if she hung around the rest of her friends. That is, if they even wanted her around... Ritsu's attitude towards her still stung, but how much more could she lose? With forced determination, Mio called Mugi.

... "Mio? Is that you?" The voice on the other line sounded like a very calming presence, though there was also a tinge of anticipation there, almost as if the other girl expected it to be someone else using Mio's phone. She took a calming breath before responding.

"Yes, Mugi, it's me. I was hoping we could hang out and-"

"I'm coming to pick you up! Don't move, okay?"

"Eh? O-okay, but-" _Click._ The line went dead. Mio stared at her phone for a few seconds before realizing she needed to get ready. That was so... sudden. Was Mugi an impetuous person? Apparently so. With a slight shrug to herself, she got up to get ready before heading downstairs to let her parents know that she was leaving. They seemed relieved by the fact; she'd spent so much time by herself, after all.

With her bass slung over her shoulder - it was as much a comfort item now as an instrument, and she just wanted it with her - she stood on the porch and waited for Mugi to show up. She wondered if perhaps 'Tsumugi' was more appropriate, seeing as how they hadn't spoken in three years, or was just 'Mugi' still applicable? Maybe she should ask, but that seemed embarrassing to not know. Besides, she'd already said Mugi on the phone, and the blonde hadn't seem perturbed, so it was probably alright. Eventually, her thoughts were interrupted by a car pulling up towards her house. Well, to be more specific, it was a limousine, its dark splendor a stark contrast to its more humble surroundings. Mio gaped at it, shocked that such a vehicle would bother stopping here. What was even more shocking was when the window was rolled down and Mugi waved at her from the back. "Mio-chan, over here!" After half a minute of standing stock-still and wide-eyed, Mugi exited the limo and started walking over, concern in her eyes. "Oh Mio-chan, do you need help? Do your legs hurt?" For once, that wasn't the case, but the raven-haired girl could only nod numbly and allow herself to be helped to the vehicle.

* * *

"You're really rich, aren't you?" Mio finally put that out there as they rode in the back of the limo, still in awe of it all. What kind of house could she possibly live in? It must be huge!

"Yes..." A soft sigh escaped Mugi's lips, a look of concern still upon her face. "Azusa told me that you... are having memory issues."

"Yes, but I'm gaining a lot of it back. I just... don't remember some of it."

"Involving us?"

"Yeah." The rest of the ride was mostly in silence. Neither of the two could come up with something meaningful to say, so it was a relief - at least to Mio - when they reached the house. However, they had to wait a moment for Mio to stop gawking at the sheer grander of it. The term 'house' was mild. 'Mansion' was a more accurate term, and Mio once again had to be helped to the front door, not wanting to peel her eyes away from the sight. _'I've never seen something so... so luxurious.'_ She had to stop that train of thought and remind herself that she, in fact, had seen this exact place at least once before: she just couldn't remember it.

If anything, the inside was more spectacular, with everything glittering gold... or maybe that was just a trick of the light. Shaking her head and blinking hard, Mio followed Mugi upstairs and into her room, which seemed a bit... barren. Maybe it was because of the boxes pushed against the wall. "Ah, I do apologize for the emptiness. I just got back from school and haven't yet had time to unpack."

"I thought everybody else had been back for a little bit already." Mio gave her friend a slightly confused look. Her mother had told her they all had planned on going to the same university before... _it_ happened. Shouldn't they all have been back at the same time?

"Ah, well, the others get out earlier than I do, and I did stay behind a couple days with some friends, so-" She stopped when she noticed the confused look on Mio's face. "I go to a different university than the others, Mio-chan. We started out all going to the same school together, but... it just didn't work out. We just kind of split up after that. Oh, we still talk, but we-" Another stoppage. Rather than looking confused, Mio now looked upset, tears dotting the corners of her eyes. She felt horrible now, that it was her fault that her friends had been unable to continue to go to school together. Realistically, she didn't actively desire to fall into a coma for three years, but it was still hard to shake those feelings of unmitigated doubt. Mugi looked like she was the one who caused her pain though, and so she tried to wave off the worried blonde.

"A-ah, it's nothing, Mugi. I just... it's nothing." Mugi looked as if she wanted to politely argue that point, but instead she changed tactics and pointed at the bass slung over her shoulder.

"You've been playing your bass again? That's great!"

"Y-yeah, I've been trying to get back into the swing of things, you know?"

"Wanna jam?"

"You play?" Mio looked at her friend in surprise. That must have been one of the things she'd forgotten. It would be nice to play with someone else. The lonely plucking of the bass seemed empty without other instruments to accompany it.

"Yes! I play the keyboard!" With a smile, she stood up and went to the corner of her room, where a long box sat upon her desk. Opening it up, the aforementioned keyboard slid out easily, and Mugi pulled out a stand to fit it onto before bringing it back over. "Is there anything you want to play?"

She thought on it for a moment before coming up with the exact song she wanted to play. "There's this song I've been listening to quite a lot - Oh, but... maybe you haven't heard of it." Mio herself didn't even know where she'd heard the band. What was the chance Mugi had heard of them too? Not very high, she reckoned.

"Ooh, how hipster of you, Mio-chan. Who are they? I can look up the notes on my computer."

"After School Tea Time." Mugi gave Mio a rather strange look, enough that Mio felt like she was missing something. "Wh-what? What is it?"

"Mio-chan... That's our band." How many times was she going to be surprised in one day? If only she could remember every detail of her life, then these things would just be well-established. Instead, she had to ride a roller coaster of emotions until things came back into focus.

"You're in a band?"

"We were _all_ in a band. That's us: After School Tea Time. Yui-chan and Azusa-chan played the guitars, I played the keyboard, you were on bass-"

"I was in the band?!" Actually, that would make sense, but that would mean the bass player she'd been following so enthusiastically was... herself. What a trip. The look Mugi gave her now was tinged with pity. She didn't like the look all that much. She'd been seeing it too much lately.

"Yes, you were our bassist. And Ritsu-" Yet another forced stop of the conversation. Despite having not been present at the little misadventure Mio had concerning her former friend, it was clear that Mugi was aware of a rift. Perhaps Azusa had told her, or maybe this had already been established awhile ago.

"Was the drummer." Mio finished the thought without, ironically enough, thinking about it. How did she know that? Azusa must have told her or something. Ignoring the curious look she received for her response, she grabbed her bass and started to unzip the case. "Still want to play?"

* * *

With another instrument to accompany her, the music sounded a little bit more complete, and Mio greatly enjoyed playing the - well, _their_ \- music together. The hours trickled by, but neither girl noticed, and by the time they decided to stop the sun had nearly set. The thing that really stood out to Mio was memories slowly trickling back as she played. Memories of Mugi specifically, but also of all of them playing music together, standing on stage while a bunch of their classmates cheered them on. Feelings of nervousness had started to creep into her mind then, which greatly confused her: there wasn't anything to be nervous about, was there? At least more memories were returning, though it distracted her enough that she didn't hear what Mugi was asking her.

"I'm sorry, Mugi. What did you say?"

"I was asking if you wanted to stay the night here. If your parents are okay with it, of course." The smile on her face was genuine, and Mio was able to return one of her. With a nod, she pulled out her phone to ask her parents for permission, and was able to happily respond with a resounding 'yes'. Mugi was able to get a guest room ready fairly quickly - the mansion had a lot of rooms - but after that they decided to have tea and chat instead. This action actually felt very, very familiar.

"This feels so familiar." That elicited a dainty giggle from her blonde friend.

"Oh yes, we spent so many days after school just drinking tea and, well, not practicing." Mio had to laugh at that, though it sounded rather lazy.

"I wish I remembered us practicing more than drinking tea." Talking to Mugi made her feel more at ease, and it helped her mind relax while they did so. Even after they'd finish chatting, and when it was time for them to sleep, her mind still felt a lot less foggy than it had been for awhile. It felt good enough that she could consider sleeping without having a panic attack about not waking up in the morning. With her eyes closed, she allowed as many memories as she could to replay through her mind, trying to catalog and savor each one. It was these thoughts that gave her hope that someday soon she'd be able to return to the life she once had known so well. That was all she wanted now. Well, that and to have the subtle sting in her heart go away whenever a memory would show up involving the girl with the light brown hair. In the peaceful night that coated the room, she decided that she didn't want to remember Ritsu anymore.


	5. Chapter V - The House of Ghosts & Regret

**Author's Notes:** Hey guys! Been a bit, hasn't it? I can not stop bouncing from story to story, writing and stopping. I get too distracted. But today, we're changing things up, as you may notice fairly quickly. Don't worry: we'll return to normal soon enough. And hey, the lyrics are back! Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

This was not something she wanted to do. It didn't seem all that long ago that this kind of thing was normal and always held a healthy dose of playful friendliness within the words, but things had changed. Years had passed, and now she knew this wasn't going to be finished with lots of laughs and joking banter. The days of arguing with Ritsu over such simple things as needing to practice more were long gone, replaced with a palpable tension that didn't seem likely to break. After what had happened though, she knew this needed to happen: they needed to talk.

The tinkling sound of a small bell rang out in the room as Azusa stepped into the practice studio. She knew Ritsu would be here, and soon enough she learned from the guy running the place the truth of those thoughts. With a nod of thanks to him, she began to walk towards the room that housed her brown-haired friend. Once she reached it, she knocked on the door, but no one came to the door. Her drumming was probably too loud to hear anyone on the outside, so she increased the velocity and intensity, knocking fervently on the door until finally the door opened up and the visage of Ritsu showed herself.

"Alright, alright! Is my time up alrea- Oh. Azusa." Surprise flashed in her hazel eyes, but she quickly regained her composure and pointed at the drum kit with a stick. "Sorry, Azusa. Couldn't hear ya. Wanna come in?" She nodded and stepped in after Ritsu moved aside, the older girl heading towards the kit and plopping down on the stool to look towards her junior. "So, what's up?"

The words Azusa wanted to say wouldn't leave her lips, and she began to nervously tap her fingers together. This wasn't something she was great at, even if it was of the utmost importance. Since they had always been in a group of five, it was usually someone else who would do this, but now it fell to her, and she felt under pressure to make all her words count. Her nervous demeanor was not lost on Ritsu however, whose smile quickly faded as her mind started to pick up on what exactly Azusa was here for.

"Azusa..." She began, but stopped herself, at least temporarily. Did she really want to do this right now? After all the times something like this had happened in the past, the last thing she wanted was for it to crop up again. Ah, but it really couldn't be helped, could it? She just should have known it was going to happen sooner rather than later. "Do you really want to do this?"

Azusa's head shot up as she stared at Ritsu, her eyes narrowing as her hands fell to her sides. Ritsu asked that so casually, like this wasn't something that really needed to be talked about. "Of course I do!" She huffed, crossing her arms as she glared at the drummer. It was times like these that made her wish she was taller; maybe she'd command more authority that way. "You were so horrible to Mio-senpai! How could you say that after all this time?"

"Things aren't the same anymore, Azusa!" Ritsu stood up and glared right back, making Azusa recoil on instinct. Well, maybe things weren't quite as different... "Do you know how hard it was for me to move on after something like that? How hard it was for us? You act like it's so easy to just bring back the past and talk to ghosts."

"She's not dead! Don't pretend like her feelings don't matter!" Azusa was now up and shouting as well, thankful that the walls were soundproofed. This was one thing she didn't miss, but now it was too late, and with no one there but them two, there wasn't anyone to stop them from losing control of their already-frayed emotions.

"Don't pretend things can ever be the same!" Ritsu shot back, gripping a drum stick so tightly her knuckles began turning white. "Everything we ever worked for ended three years ago, and I've tried so damn hard to move on with my life. Just because you haven't moved on doesn't mean you can drag the rest of us down with you! Don't you think Yui-chan deserves better than having you stuck in the past?" Azusa froze as if she'd been shot, eyes wide as she took in all of Ritsu's hurtful words. She wanted to run over that and slap her, to bash her over the head with her own crash cymbal until she took back those terrible things she said, but what would it accomplish? Her hands were balled tightly into fists, and she could feel tears threatening to pour from her eyes. She knew this whole thing was going to end up like this, but there had still been that tiny hope that something different would happen, something a lot more friendly. Now that hope was shattered and lying defeated on the floor.

"You... ... Fuck you, Ritsu!" Her last angry shouts felt hollow and without force, and Ritsu didn't respond, nor did she attempt to stop the younger girl as she left the room, slamming the door behind her. It was only after she had left the studio did she allow those angry tears to start streaming down her face.

* * *

As it usually happened whenever she was in a bad mood, Azusa found herself sitting on Yui's bed, wiping tears from her eyes while her senior gave her a comforting hug. She hadn't been able to stop crying since leaving the practice studio, and it was very annoying. Yui had been able to guess fairly quickly what had happened, and now they had been sitting on her bed for ten minutes without saying a word, the only sound being Azusa's quiet crying.

"What did you and Ricchan fight about this time?" There was always that innate kindness in Yui's words, still there even after everything that had happened. However, it wasn't lost on Azusa how strained that had been on her, and she could hear the exhaustion hiding beneath the soothing optimism.

"She was so rude to Mio-senpai, and it's like she just wants to forget her best friend ever existed. I still can't believe she can be so heartless." She didn't want to look back at what face Yui was giving her. She knew well enough what it was anyway: pity. A tired, well-worn look of pity. When Mio had been taken away from them, it had felt as if everything she'd been building her life up towards had crumbled down in front of her eyes, but when she'd heard that the raven-haired bassist was awake once again, for a fleeting moment it seemed as if everything would be okay. That hope was quickly dashed after it became apparent that not everyone wanted to try to bring the past back to life. Could time really turn their hearts to rust like an abandoned machine?

"Well, you know Ricchan likes to speak her mind, eheheh... And she's so busy with schoolwork and her band. Ricchan got really studious, didn't she?" Yui chuckled softly, running her fingers through Azusa's short locks. At least this felt more like how things used to be; it almost made her want to purr with contentment, but her emotions were still running faster than her mind, making it hard for her to reign them in.

"Ritsu is just a huge jerk," she huffed indignantly, not really wanting to argue about the drummer's newfound good qualities. That didn't help her keep up the anger. Her words still had an effect though, making the room feel a bit tenser than it had been when she'd originally walked in. Yui's fingers slowed in their ministrations, and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"You were nicer when you had longer hair, Azu-nyan. I miss your twintails." The younger girl stiffened in Yui's arms, but made no move to leave, choosing instead to try and bore holes through the floor. Wasn't this what Ritsu had been hinting at earlier? She hated how someone could be so wrong and so right at the same time. It wasn't fair. She didn't know what to say in response. It seemed anything anyone said to her today was like a stinging barb through her aching heart. Things had been so much easier before... like Yui said, when she still had her twintails. Everything was worse now, and everyone had drifted apart, either at the pace of a glacier or more akin to a falling star. It was beginning to feel like she was losing everything she had held near and dear to her heart, and in some ways, nestled deep inside her brain where she didn't want to unearth and admit to, she felt as if all of this was her fault.

"I'm heading to Norway next week, Azu-nyan. There's a band who wants me to do some session work with them, and it sounds like a lot of fun. I get to play power metal! Ooh, I should probably listen to some: I don't even know what it sounds like, eheheh." Azusa loved Yui's cheery tone; it was such a stark contrast to her current mood, and it had never failed to perk her up before. Then again, many things were different now. Too many things.

"How long will you be gone?"

"A month." The fleeting moment of cheeriness was gone, and the tension settled back down on top of them in an almost suffocating fashion. All Azusa wanted to do then was turn around and press tightly against the woman whose bright and cheerful disposition she had come to rely on so many times over the years. She wanted to lay in her arms and be told everything would be okay, and then it would be, like it always should have been. Her muscles felt locked up by a melancholic apathy though, and so she only found herself able to whisper a silent 'oh'. Every time she reached out, it seemed as if what she wanted to hold onto always managed to slip away.

There wasn't anything she could say to make things better. Well, maybe there was, and she was just too stubborn to admit it. It hurt her mind to think of it, but she had to say something. She couldn't sit here and say nothing while Yui left on another trip without her. Her tongue felt tied down by her rampaging thoughts, and once again she couldn't say the perfect thing that would make everything okay again. Mio was always the one who was better with her words. "I love you." The words were genuine, but at the same time they felt so forced. She didn't want to look back at her senior, not even as the seconds ticked by and no return words cut through the air. It was so quiet; too silent. What was going on in Yui's mind?

"I love you too, Azu-nyan." The words she was waiting for came out as a whisper, floating like a spirit into her ears. She didn't try to stop the tears from leaking down her cheeks once more. Those words had never before left Yui's lips with less meaning.

* * *

She was in her room, alone, practicing her guitar. When Yui began to fly across the world as a session musician, Azusa would always go with her to the airport and cry like a child at the prospect of her friend leaving for increasingly-longer periods of time. It was embarrassing to have Yui of all people be the calming voice of reason in those times, but secretly she craved those moments, at least until she was standing there alone in the terminal, having to avoid the stares of those who had been watching her lose control of her emotions. Those times had grown to occur less and less however, and now she knew that Yui would be going there with Ui instead. Standing by herself in her room, she didn't have to pretend it didn't hurt.

The 'twang' of her guitar strings being strummed no longer calmed her down like they used to. She had to practice though, or she'd just keep falling further behind. After all, it was her band, so it was really up to her to keep things going. At least she wasn't crying now, but her raging emotions had quelled into a more empty feeling, and after trying to keep practicing for another ten minutes, she gave up with a sigh, putting her guitar up and deciding to go to bed instead. Tomorrow would be another day. She tried to ignore the fact that she'd been saying that line for too many tomorrows.

The worst dreams for her were ones that replayed events from the past. She craved weird and fantastical dreams, ones that didn't hold meaning like these. This one in particular was a regular play in her subconscious, returning her to that terrible time at university. They were arguing again. She and Ritsu always were arguing, it seemed. The band was dead, and it felt like all she had left to fight for was their friendship, but she was no powerful orator, and it would always devolve into this, the yelling, the screaming, and it never brought about a satisfying conclusion.

If she could take anything back, it would be that moment in particular. She wished that they had just ended the arguing. She wished that Yui hadn't stepped between them to end their ceaseless arguments. She wished so bad that she hadn't lost control. Wishing would not change the past though, and she knew as long as she lived that she would never forgive herself. She was screaming for the dream to stop, for her hand to go back down, to not lash out against that innocent skin. And then she was awake, forced back awake like she'd broke the surface of an icy pond. The back of her neck was coated in a chilling sweat, and tears stung her eyes. Dammit, Ritsu was right... She didn't deserve the continued affections of someone as pure as Yui. It was as if she was still a beautiful, innocent flower, and Azusa played the selfish bug who merely came to use, abuse, and leave the flower until it was but a shadow of its former self.

Ritsu once told her to stop living in the past, but it was the only place where everything was right again. It was the only place where she could be happy.

 **-lyrics- Haunted  
** I am unresponsive to the stimuli  
I don't believe what I see with my eyes  
What I believe in so desperately comes true  
Never again will I wander my dreams without you  
I can feel them grow distant, and you do as well  
These feelings of loss never seem to be quelled  
I just want to live in a world that's alright  
Please God, I don't want to be alone tonight

[Chorus]  
I've wandered with you for so long that I'm lost  
I can pay for what I've done, but I don't know the cost  
The past is my only drug for the pain  
And the future only serves to drive me insane  
Can you see me cry in your eternal nights?  
I've never had the power to make anything right  
And when you're awake, I don't know what to do  
I've lived with ghosts for so long, but I'm still haunted by you

I feel so close, yet my words evaporate  
I've been strung all along by the hands of fate  
Or was I just the string that led you along  
Not realizing it'd been cut 'til long after you're gone?  
I feel low and I feel devastated  
But maybe I truly deserve to be hated  
Please forgive me and let me come home  
I don't ever want to spend another night alone

[Chorus]

When a ghost comes to life, what do you do?  
You're warm to the touch, but I'm still haunted by you


	6. Chapter VI - Synonyms for Recovery

**Author's Notes:** Hey, I didn't take weeks to write another chapter! It's a miracle, I know. I bet it really is terrifying to lose so much of your life and have to restart everything from an arbitrary point. You've aged, but you've experienced less life than others due to something beyond your control. That must be a living nightmare. Well, remember to review if you feel so inclined, and live life to the fullest. Inspirational message of the day.

TheGoldenWolfX1399 - Haha, I guess we'll just have to see. I think we've had enough accidents for one group, though.

* * *

Everything was exactly as it should have been. Mio was sitting and smiling in her usual chair, happily chatting with her friends over tea and the promise of band practice in the near future. This was all she wanted now, and she held onto the moment as long as she could. Something in the back of her mind wanted to mention how annoyed she should be at how long their teatime was dragging on, but this time she didn't find the laziness all that bad. In fact, it made her feel rather content, and it was a feeling she had greatly missed. Something was wrong, and she was sane enough to admit to herself that it was the case, but it didn't matter as long as what was right about it kept going as long as possible. It didn't matter that Yui's words were completely inaudible, nor that an older woman would keep weaving in and out of her vision. She understood what Yui was saying regardless, and she knew that this older woman meant her no harm. After taking another sip of tea, she looked over at Azusa, wanting to ask the younger girl a question that only now seemed pertinent to ask.

"Azusa, is something going on between you and Yui?" It had only just occurred to her to think deeper about an earlier conversation with Azusa, one that was now itching at her mind. While she didn't quite understand what could have been going on between the two girls, the way Azusa had spoken about her, even if it was only for a moment, gave Mio pause. This seemed like the perfect time to ask, but no answer was forthcoming. Azusa just smiled at her, tilting her head in a questioning manner, but saying nothing. In fact, no one was speaking anymore, and all their eyes were now trained on her. A slight shiver ran up and down her spine, and she instinctively pressed her back against her chair. "Wh-what are you guys doing?"

They wouldn't answer, and Mio found herself jolting up from her seat and rushing for the door. She was losing her grip on the firm sanity of the situation, and she felt that leaving the room would allow her to stabilize. Grabbing the door handle, she quickly glanced over her shoulder at her friends, who hadn't moved from their seats. Only their eyes stayed on her, three pairs of them. Where was Yui? She was no longer seated at the table, and the older woman no longer seemed to be present amongst them either. Quickly opening the door, Mio suddenly was face to face with another girl, this one with short brown hair and a strict expression on her face. "Are you seriously drinking tea when you have three years of schooling to catch up on?"

"Wh-what?" This person's voice was soundless as well, and an unnerved Mio began to back away from her, only to bump into someone else. Turning around, her eyes widened as Ritsu stared up at her, with Mugi and Azusa looking on passively.

"You're so selfish, Mio," Ritsu spat out, malice dripping from every word. Mio felt stuck, her legs refusing to move as Ritsu and the other girl closed in on her. "You should have just never woken up." These words kept repeating even after Ritsu's lips stopped moving, and Mio covered her ears in an attempt to block out the sound, but it persisted, louder than before. Letting out a whimper, she shut her eyes and begged for the torment to stop, and she was shocked to hear nothing: the sound had ceased. Breathing a shaky sigh of relief, Mio thought it safe to open her eyes once more.

Everything was pitch black.

* * *

 _'No!'_ Alarm raged inside Mio's brain as she started to struggle against the night, forcing her body to move against the crushing loneliness of darkness. _'This can't be happening! Not again!'_ Her struggling soon died down when she realized that her body was indeed moving, and her eyes began to adjust to the gloom of the room she was currently occupying. It was only a dream, and she was awake, not trapped within herself. She gulped in copious amounts of air, just to know she was breathing and that she was alive, letting out a nervous and relieved laugh into the quiet air. Sitting up slowly to take in her surroundings, she remembered that she wasn't in her own room, but in one of Mugi's guest rooms. In a way, she wished she was with Mugi instead. She wouldn't want to wake up her friend - it was likely still really early in the morning - but loneliness still pressed against her heart and left her aching. She didn't want to stay alone in this room anymore.

Sleep wasn't easy to return to, and Mio wasn't convinced that she wanted it to anyway. The feeling of returning to that dark place was horrifying, and the last thing she wanted to do was go back, but she knew sleep was important. She had just been getting back into being able to sleep without having panic attacks, and she didn't want to regress, so reluctantly she laid back down and allowed sleep to eventually overtake her. Her mind was dreamless.

* * *

It was the afternoon when Mio woke up again. Sleep stung her eyes as she yawned, slowly standing up so she could find a bathroom and attend to herself. Within her sleep-addled mind, negative thoughts were silently swarming in the background, further slowing her steps out of the room. She felt empty in a way that was tough for her to describe. After losing all of that time, she now didn't know what she was to do; she felt like her second chance at life was without purpose; meaningless. Throughout her time of recuperation, she hadn't given much thought to what she would do now that she was back among the living, and now that she was thinking about it, nothing came to mind. It was with those thoughts buzzing lowly in the back of her mind that she met Mugi in the hallway, the young blonde woman having been heading in the opposite direction, likely to check on her. Something inside of her broke down into the most base of desires, and all Mio wanted at that point was for someone to be close to her, to distract her from the torment her mind brought down upon her.

Mugi began to say something, possibly a greeting, but stopped when Mio began to cross the distance between them, until the two of them were standing face to face. The raven-haired bassist then wrapped her arms around the keyboardist and hugged her tightly, resting her head on her friend's shoulder and refusing to let go. It was clear that she had surprised Mugi, but it didn't take long for her to reciprocate the hug. "Mio-chan, what's the matter?"

"Do you think it would have been better if I'd never woken up?" The question tumbled from her lips before she could stop herself, brought on by her confusion and guilt.

"Goodness, no! Why would you think that?" Mugi broke their hug in order to place her hands firmly on Mio's shoulder, staring straight into her cloudy eyes. Serious expressions looked so odd on that gentle face.

"Everybody seems so..." She bit her lip as she tried to figure out how to continue. 'Different' was the word she had planned on using, but were things different? They sure felt different, but she couldn't be sure that her memories were sound anymore. What if she was the only thing that was different? "Things always seem so tense whenever I'm concerned." That was probably the best way she could describe it without seeming crazy. In all honesty, she felt like an intruder in the lives of her friends, but that particular train of thought wouldn't be vocalized. Some sense of secrecy kept her silent, not wanting to become a further burden to the only people who still wanted anything to do with her. After all, Mugi was her friend, not a therapist.

"It's been tough for everyone, Mio-chan, but everyone will come around. Don't get discouraged." The smile on Mugi's face was reassuring, and being pulled back into another hug made Mio feel safe, as if things really could go back to normal. She allowed herself to sink into that warm, agreeable hug, closing her eyes as a small smile graced her lips. Maybe all wasn't lost.

* * *

Mio stood against the wall in her room, leaning back to keep herself up on weakened legs. Her bass was held firmly in her arms, and she forced her mind to think of only playing the instrument, enjoying the feeling of her fingers moving across the strings. The sounds of Afterschool Tea Time came out from the speakers of her computer, and she played along to the bass sections, her sections. Eventually she began to hum to the lyrics, and soon enough she was singing alongside her past counterpart, having listened to these songs enough times to have already committed the words to memory. It was an odd sensation having to remember that she was in band, and that it was her playing that bass and singing those words, but playing alongside herself was also comforting in a way. It felt like there was someone in the room with her.

The future terrified her. After the summer was over, she would have to attempt to go to university. She was sure that going had been a foregone conclusion before, but that was three long years ago. Was she even intelligent enough to get into a good university now? On top of that, the shame of being so much older than all of her classmates might just be too much to bear, and who could she talk to about it? All of her friends were in their final years. Even Azusa was ahead of her. It felt like too great a climb to make.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as her playing slowed down, affected by her woebegone thoughts. She would have to study hard this summer to even have a chance at passing the entrance exams, since she doubted the ones she took years ago were still applicable. If she failed, she'd have to get a job, but what kind of job would she be qualified for with just a high school education? After all that work, she'd end up being a leech on society, one not even worthy of pity. Her playing stopped as she pressed a palm against her forehead, trying to massage away the headache that had begun to form. Why did this have to happen to her?

The stress was getting to her, and she knew it wouldn't be the last time she cursed her fate. At the same time though, she craved a return to the normalcy her life had once experienced, and if that past involved her being in a band, then that was what she wanted. While she didn't believe her playing was perfect, she really wanted to start playing music with her friends again, even if there were obstacles in the way. With that in mind, she grabbed her phone and called Azusa, wanting to tell her first, but the voicemail was all that greeted her. Frowning slightly, she decided to send a quick text instead.

'Hey Azusa, I really want to start jamming with all of you again! Call me soon?' A text seemed so impersonal for something that was building up so passionately inside of her. It was wrong to push aside her responsibilities that were larger than ever to try and scrape together a life worth leading, but her mind was in such chaos that she felt like she needed the distraction. Being in a band seemed like it was such a big part of her old life, and she wanted to make sure as much of that as possible was brought over to the here and now. She didn't want to start everything anew: that was such a cruel thing to expect of her. If her life had been great before, then that's what she wanted. With how scary the future seemed, it was nice to dip back into the past and relax. It wouldn't be so bad to stay there for awhile.

 **-lyrics- Serenades of Chronos  
** Cruel fate, I beseech thee to leave me be  
I don't want these truisms of reality  
Let me linger in the place where I belong  
Where nothing ever feels so wrong  
Oh Chronos, keep your wife at bay  
Ananke seeks to end my days  
She hisses terror in my ear  
Save me from drowning in my fears

There's one place where I wish to go  
A place where everybody knows  
No regret, no pain, nothing but bliss  
Why was I taken from a place like this?

[Chorus]  
Sing to me your wordly song  
And let me bathe in my desires  
We may no longer get along  
But please pull away from the fire  
Grant me but one request  
And I swear I'll leave you alone  
In this world I am but a guest  
Take me back to where I called home  
Take me back to where I called home

Don't make me dance with destiny  
She's stronger than I'll ever be  
I've never begged but for this exception  
My mind has but a single perception  
What have I done to deserve your wrath  
To where you abandoned me on my path?  
Send me back from whence I came  
Where I can hear them call my name

There's one place where I wish to stay  
A place that stands above dismay  
No regret, no pain, nothing but bliss  
Why was I taken from a place like this?

[Chorus]


	7. Chapter VII -Rise of the Dangerous Queen

Two days trickled by slowly as Mio almost obsessively waited for a response from Azusa. It would have been prudent to just call back, but she felt somewhat embarrassed by the lack of a response, as if her request was an unwise one, so she ended up torturing herself over the thoughts of Azusa laughing at her for the foolish idea of playing music again. It was a ridiculous way of thinking, but lately her mind wasn't exactly being kind to her.

With how little she was sleeping, there was lots of free time to pass, so she spent most of her day either playing her bass or writing. Now that she thought about it, maybe the most surprising thing was that her former group's lyrics had been written by her, especially because of how childish they were. It was difficult for her to conjure up those feelings of innocence and fantasy again when attempting to put pen to paper. No matter how many times she listened to the lyrics she and Yui sung, similar words would not come to mind, leaving her frustrated. It just wasn't how she felt anymore.

Instead, when she wrote, the lyrics were more dark and confusing, stemming from her feelings of fear and helplessness towards falling asleep after all that had happened. She wondered if she should even be bothering to write lyrics: if people had expected words from her more like they were before, would they accept how they were now? It was while on another writing binge that her phone finally rang. Jumping up in surprise, Mio quickly grabbed the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Mio, it's Azusa. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you." Mio breathed a sigh of relief. So she wasn't being ignored after all. That was enough to temporarily dissolve her present worries.

"Oh no no, it's alright." Silence hung over them for a few moments, and Mio began to wonder exactly why Azusa hadn't gotten back to her. Eventually, she realized it would be up to her to break the silence. "So... What do you think? About playing again?"

"I think it's a great idea!" Another sigh of relief as one more worry slowly faded into nothingness. "I am in a band, though, but I think they'd be okay with you playing with us. Is that alright?"

"Of course." Mio figured this could be the case, but she wanted to play bad enough that she was willing to potentially embarrass herself in front of strangers. Hopefully that wouldn't happen. "So when do you want to get together?"

"Does Friday sound good?"

"Mhm."

"Alright. Well, then I'll... I'll talk to you later, Mio."

"Oh. Alright, talk to you later."

"Bye." "Bye." And then the phone lapsed into silence. Mio stared at it for a moment before letting it rest back on her desk, wondering why something going right still made her feel so troubled. Azusa's tone seemed more subdued than usual, and it tinged Mio's happiness with worry. Was something going on that she wasn't aware of? Maybe she should ask Mugi... but that seemed like an invasion of privacy, and if Azusa didn't want to talk about it, who was she to go digging into it? She'd let it marinate for awhile and get back to it.

Now she finally had plans, but there was still time until Friday, so she abandoned her half-written lyrics and returned to practicing her bass. If she was going to be playing in front of people she didn't know, she would make sure she was good enough to impress them.

* * *

Despite all of her reassurances, Mio was still nervous as she headed for the practice session. It was at one of the band member's house, and with it being too far to walk on her still-recovering legs, Mio had gotten her father to drive her over. They didn't talk much during the drive, so she was left to stew in her own worry, looking out the window at everything they passed and wondering how much they had changed.

Once they arrived, she thanked her father and pulled out her bass from the backseat, slinging it over her shoulder as she walked to the house, the notebook with all her new lyrics clutched tightly in her arms. At the door, she rang the doorbell and waited, trying to swallow down all of her nerves. Soon enough, the door opened and she was greeted by a girl with shoulder-length brunette hair, whose eyes lit up the moment she realized who was at the door. "Mio-senpai!"

Mio was caught by surprise when the brunette threw herself forward and hugged the bassist, looking up at her with wide, shining eyes, as brown as her hair. Guilt prickled her brain as she could remember nothing about the person whose arms were now wrapped around her, but she seemed very happy to see her. While not wanting to lie and pretend to know this girl, she also didn't want to hurt her feelings. "H-Hey." She gave the girl a nervous smile, though her arms stayed pinned between her own body and the other girl's, still clutching onto her notebook.

"You didn't forget me, did you Mio-senpai?" The girl let go of Mio and pouted, causing her to internally panic. What should she say? She tried to wildly cast around her mind for any inkling of knowledge towards a name, but she didn't remember hearing anyone mention it, nor did she recall seeing the girl's face in any of the pictures. Her face grew hot with guilt.

"Uh, I-I..."

"Please don't tease our guest, Jun." Mio's savior appeared in the hall behind the one called Jun, an unamused expression on her face. With her black hair a bit shorter than Jun's and accompanying glasses, she gave off a more mature aura than the former, who had now broken out into a wide, apologetic grin.

"Sorry, sorry! I was just joking, Mio-senpai. It's just been so long since I've seen you." She gave Mio another hug, who had gained enough presence of mind to return it. "Come on! Azusa-chan is waiting in the garage." Without giving Mio any time to gain her bearings, Jun grabbed her by the arm and began to half-lead half-drag her towards the back of the house.

"H-Hey, wait a second!" There was no stopping her though, and she barely registered the resigned look on the other girl's face - a look that showed this was par for the course - before she was forced to put more effort into her movements to keep up. By the time they left the house and made their way to the garage, fatigue was already starting to settle into her legs, and she was lightly panting when they entered. Clearly she needed to get into better shape, more so than usual.

Inside the garage a drum kit had already been set up, with a guitar being propped up on a stand. A computer sat alone on an office chair in the back while Azusa stood in the center, her guitar slung over her front while she fiddled with a microphone standing before her. Mio's entrance drew Azusa's attention, however, and a smile broke out on her face as she let go of the microphone to wave at her. "Mio! Hey!" Mio waved back, noticing that Jun had left her side in order to grab the other guitar.

Behind the drum set was another girl Mio didn't recognize, but she looked suspiciously like Mugi. The long, blonde hair was nearly identical, and their faces had a similar structure, enough to where Mio wondered if they were sisters. Before she could even think to question it, the black-haired girl appeared again, obviously having not felt the need to rush after them. With only a nod to Mio, she moved to the back of the garage and picked up the laptop, sitting down in the chair and resting it on her lap. Now there were two people Mio had no knowledge of, not even of their names, and, it seemed, no bassist either. For a second, she had considered that the darker-haired girl was the group's bassist, but it would appear that it wasn't the case.

"Where's your bassist?" It had been a question brought on by an original thought: wouldn't their bassist be affronted by her presence? After all, she was the intruder here, and the idea of butting in on someone's job wasn't what she wanted to do. Still, she wanted to play very badly, and she wondered how a band would sound with two bassists.

The question had, realistically, been addressed to Azusa, but it was Jun who answered instead. "Oh, Acchan usually pops in to play for us, but he's busy with stuff." Another pout formed on her face as she looked at Azusa, crossing her arms. "I wanted to play bass, but _someone_ insisted I play the guitar."

"You were the only person who could play rhythm," Azusa reasoned, placing a hand on her hip as she stared Jun down. "You've picked it up fine. I don't know why you're still complaining about it."

"Ui should've been playing rhythm."

" _Ui_ is not in the band, Jun." Sparks flew between their connected gazes, and Mio could feel the sudden tension from where she stood. The blonde looked worried, while the other girl seemed almost disinterested, though she was typing something on the laptop while keeping her eyes on the display before them. Mio settled for a slightly confused look. She could have sworn they said 'Ui', but they must have been talking about Yui. Now that she thought about it, Yui was the only one of her former bandmates that she hadn't seen. Did something happen to make her no longer want to participate in the band?

"My computer's going to run out of power," the black-haired girl quipped, putting an end to the silent tension. The other three girls began to set up, leaving Mio no choice but to follow suit. Moving to where she had some room, she set her case down and unzipped it, pulling out her bass and making sure it was tuned properly. With her notebook resting within the case, she stood there holding her bass, looking over at Azusa and realizing something: she had no idea how to play any of their songs.

Sure, she had re-taught herself to play many of After School Tea Time's songs, but this was not that band. She didn't know how long this band had been playing for, but they probably had their own catalog of songs, songs she did not know. What she needed was time to learn any new material, but it would be presumptuous to believe anyone wanted to spend all day teaching her. Azusa noticed her staring and smiled.

"Ah, Mio, I thought we'd play something you'd be more familiar with. How about _Fuwa Fuwa Time_?" Mio perked up at that, and gave Azusa a smile and a nod. It was a relief to know they would choose something she could actually play, at least to make sure she wasn't dragging the practice down. Now all she had to do was not mess up. "And maybe you could, ah, sing as well?" Azusa looked slightly embarrassed asking that, while Jun was grinning from her other side.

"Azusa-chan still isn't a very good singer."

"Shut up! I just think the song deserves its original vocal treatment."

"AKA you can't sing." Jun kept grinning while Azusa glared at her, but it felt different, as if the frosty tension had begun to melt, and Mio had to hold back a laugh. This was much better than anger-fueled arguing, and it put her mind at ease to know her appearance here wouldn't make everything awkward the entire song. Eventually Azusa calmed down and moved the microphone over so that Mio could use it. At that point, they were ready to play.

All of the worry and stress Mio had been feeling seemed to wash away the moment the drummer led them into the song. Moving her fingers over the strings felt like second nature again, and she felt like she was being picked up by the melodies and driven along into a blissful realm where there was nothing trying to bring her down. All that was there was the music, and she willingly lost herself in its sound. When she began to sing, the peppy and upbeat lyrics filled her head as if they'd never left, and the words left her mouth easily as the garage was filled to the brim with their song. It was fine to distract herself by playing the bass by herself, but it felt much better to join together with other instruments, for their individual sounds to form together as a band. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed this.

When the song ended, Mio's heart was racing, but she didn't feel exhausted. Rather, she felt exhilarated, and when she looked over at Azusa, she could feel that same aura. However, she knew that she couldn't impose on their practice time for too long, so she suggested taking a breather and letting the rest of the band play in her stead. Holding her bass in her arms and leaning against the wall, she smiled to herself as she watched the other three get ready to keep playing. Curiously, the other girl in the back hadn't made any move to come over, still sitting with the computer on her lap. Did she not play any instruments? If not, then what did she do?

Azusa moved the microphone back into place so she could sing, smiling sheepishly over at Mio as Jun silently snickered. The song they started to play was definitely different than _Fuwa Fuwa Time_. Mio's eyes widened at the much harsher, distorted tone of the instruments leading into Azusa's vocals, which held a sort of rough and emotional edge to them, definitely unpolished and raw but still surprisingly confident all the same.

 _"Don't ever leave, my dangerous queen. Please come back from your worlds unseen."_ Yup, definitely different than what they used to sing. Then again, she didn't know what kind of lyrics Azusa would write, so maybe this was just always her style. It wasn't bad, certainly, just a lot harsher than she had expected. As she watched, she took notice of how each girl was playing. It was easy to see that Azusa had her guitar riffs nailed down, but she seemed to be concentrating hard on remembering the lyrics. The drummer and Jun seemed to have completely different play styles: the blonde seemed a lot more focused on each beat and nailing it down perfectly, making even her quicker notes seem stiff and calculated, while on the opposite spectrum Jun played with more reckless abandon. Her ears picked up a few missteps in Jun's playing, but she kept going without missing a beat, seemingly uncaring about any little mistake as long as the entire piece was strong overall.

When they finished, Mio applauded their efforts, getting a blush from Azusa and an enthusiastic thumbs up from Jun. Even if this wasn't her style of music, it still felt amazing to be able to see it in person. She wouldn't have minded spending the whole day just watching them play.

* * *

"So what instrument does that girl with the laptop play?" Mio and Azusa were sitting on the couch together, a bottle of water in Mio's hand. The two girls Mio didn't know how already departed, and someone she hadn't gotten the chance to learn their names. Meanwhile, Jun had gone to take a shower, leaving her and Azusa alone.

"Nao-chan? She doesn't play any instruments." She laughed softly, as if she was remembering something, though Mio didn't know what. "She's our producer, and she creates a base sound for all our songs on her laptop." Mio nodded in understanding, recognizing the convenience. "Oh, and you wouldn't know Sumire-chan either. She's our drummer." So that was who the blonde was.

"She looks so much like Mugi..."

"She does, doesn't she?" Azusa laughed again, shaking her head. "I couldn't believe it either, but they're actually not related. Sumire-chan's family works for Mugi-senpai's. It's just a stunning coincidence." Stunning indeed. Still, it would be nice to get to know them more. She was interested in meeting Azusa's friends, after all. They kept chatting about everything and nothing until Jun came back, and soon enough Mio's father came to pick her up.

A time to show Azusa her lyrics had never shown up, but Mio was sure there'd be another chance. The thought of playing music with them again made her swell up with happiness, and for once she figured she'd get a good night's rest. As she ran a hand across the cover of her notebook, she wondered if she could ever become a permanent member of their band. Would Acchan, whoever they were, mind? Next time she saw Azusa, she would be sure to ask. This was the kind of thing that was best asked in person.

She did indeed sleep well that night. It was a big relief. Maybe now there would be more of those kinds of nights in the future.

 **-lyrics- Dangerous Queen  
** I place my hand upon your beating heart  
But you might as well be dead - and though  
I cry and beg your eyes to start -  
blinking they remain always closed  
My only wish is only this  
Please awaken from your rest  
And if I had Prince Charming's kiss  
Your freedom would be my only quest

Wake up, wake up  
Oh god, just please wake up

[Chorus]  
I bow before your royalty  
I humbly request  
I pledge to you my loyalty  
So put me to the test  
Come back to me, don't leave me low  
The curtain's closing on my show  
Don't ever leave, my dangerous queen  
Please come back from your worlds unseen  
And grace me with your happy smile  
Come back and stay with me for awhile

I watch you though you cannot see  
I think thoughts that can never be  
And I'll stand as a silent guard  
No matter if the times grow hard  
I'll never let my memories rot  
Keeping you alive with just a thought  
Until the day you finally grace -  
us subjects with your waking face

[Chorus]


	8. Chapter VIII - The More Things Change

_Her heart was racing, but there was no excitement dwelling deep within her; only exhaustion and regret. It was a feeling she had become very acquainted with, like an annoying roommate that one was forced to tolerate because they had been too lazy to apply early. In her mind, she knew that this was not the fault of the person panting heavily beside her. Still, she couldn't help but to resent them. It felt better to train her anger on a target other than herself. These were thoughts that would stay locked within her brain, however, and the one laying next to her hopefully did not realize any of this. It wouldn't be good for chemistry._

 _"You're running out of time, ya know?" She knew, but she didn't want to acknowledge it. Not after she knew what the best course of action was. It hurt her heart too much. Reluctantly she rolled over to look into a pair of inquisitive eyes, eyes that held more wisdom than she would ever give them credit for._

 _"I'm not going to do it." Surprise registered in the other's eyes, but she pressed on. "It'll do no good now. She'll be gone soon, and all this would do is hurt her."_

 _"And what about you?"_

 _"... I'll be fine."_

 _"You're such a terrible liar." That bluntness could be annoying, it really could. She narrowed her eyes, but didn't respond, instead choosing to roll back over and stare at the wall. Soon, arms wrapped gently around her prone frame, but she didn't acknowledge them. She continued to stare dully at nothing in particular, the colors of the walls and the floor blurring together. This wasn't how she had expected life to turn out, but what she needed to do was to pick herself up and stop putting all of her problems on others. It just seemed impossible..._

 _"This is probably the only chance you'll get. You really don't want to take it?"_

 _"..." Too many conflicting emotions ran through her mind, all the way down to her heart. She didn't know what to say, what to believe. All she knew was that things were going to hurt no matter what. She couldn't continue to place that pain upon others. "I'm sure." Those words were supposed to hold more conviction, but they came out in a quiet whisper, and she shut her eyes tightly to stop any errant tears from leaking out. The embrace she was placed in grew tighter, and she made no move to reciprocate or push away._

 _"Okay then."_

* * *

In a way, studying became an important anchor for Mio, keeping her grounded in the normalcy of a life she so desperately missed. While she had no plans on abandoning music, she knew that she couldn't rely on that to get her far in life. No one would take pity on her just because of the accident: she would have to blaze her own trail again, and that meant starting university, even if that meant being three years behind. The change in her attitude pleased her parents, who were happy that their daughter wanted to go back to school. Of course, there was still the issue of which university to pick.

It would be easy to shoot for the women's university she had originally planned on attending. While she had originally planned on going to a more prestigious academic institution, she had spurned the chance to stay with her friends, and now she had doubts she still held the higher intellect to try again. Besides, going back to school with her friends could give her the best chance to truly reconnect with them all, and even if they were near graduation while she was a mere freshman, there would still be one whole year to try and turn her fortunes around. One whole year to make things the way they used to be.

Then Mugi's words came crashing down on her. They had all split up. They all were going to different universities. The thought brought her down some, knowing that schoolwork plus the distance would make hanging out a terribly difficult task. Now that she thought about it, she didn't know which universities her friends went to. Maybe knowing that could help her make a decision. With that in mind, she put her studying temporarily to the side and pulled out her phone. Swiftly she dialed Mugi's number, waiting until the soft and elegant voice of her friend answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Mugi." It was a relief to hear her voice on the other end of the line. The more she was surrounded by normalcy, the more she became convinced that it was real and it all wouldn't be pulled out from under her. "I'm thinking about which university to attend, and I wanted to know which ones you all are going to."

Silence hung on the line for a few moments, something that Mio had begun to get used to when talking to others. It was as they were always choosing their words carefully before speaking to her. "Well, Azusa-chan still goes to NWU, but I'm studying abroad now, so I don't know if you'd want to follow me out there." Mugi laughed after that, and Mio felt compelled to laugh with her, though knowing that during the school year one of her friends would not only be at a different university, but in a different country made her feel lower still.

"What about Yui?" Trying to push past the subtle sting in her heart, Mio was more curious about this than anything else. After all, she remembered so little of Yui, and she was the only one of her former friends that she hadn't seen in person yet. Where would she be, then?

"Oh, well..." Another bout of silence. Was she going to have to deal with that every time she talked to someone? "Yui-chan doesn't actually go to university anymore." Now it was Mio's turn to go silent.

"She dropped out?" That was unexpected. It hadn't occurred to her to think that any of them weren't still in school. Was she the reason Yui dropped out?

"Yes, and before you say anything, it wasn't because of you." _'Woah'_. Was Mugi a mind reader? "It was her choice, so don't go thinking anything bad, Mio-chan."

"Ahah, you got me, Mugi." The two shared another laugh, this one less forced than the previous. Well, at least with all that information it narrowed down the choices for university if she wanted to go with her friends; or, more specifically, a friend. Of course, Mio was aware that Mugi didn't say where _everybody_ was going, but there seemed to be a silent agreement between the two to not mention it. It was better that way.

Later that night, Mio was surprised to see that same name she'd been curious about flash across her phone screen: 'Hirasawa Yui'. Her interest thoroughly peaked, she swiped open her phone and looked over the text message Yui'd just sent.

'Mio-chan! I'm having a going away party at my place on Friday. Hope to see you there!' A going away party? Was she going somewhere? Mio had no idea, but before she could question it, another text from Yui popped up. This one just had directions to her place, reminding Mio that she had no idea where Yui lived, so that text in particular was quite the save. It seemed that fate wanted them to finally meet... well, meet again. Setting down her phone, Mio ran her fingers through her hair and breathed out slowly. She had until Friday to put in some more studying before the party, and then hopefully her locked-away memories of Yui would come back.

* * *

Her nervous heart was beating quickly. Mio gave her father a quick wave before making her way to the Hirasawa's door. Hesitant to knock initially, she stood on the porch and gently bit her lip, staring at the wooden frame as if it would give her an influx of courage. She couldn't stand there forever, though: it was important that she went in there with confidence. Her hand curled into a fist as she knocked twice, as firm as she could allow herself to be. It wasn't long before the door opened and Mio found herself face to face with Yui. "Ah, Mio-chan! Please come in."

With a soft smile on her face, Mio followed Yui inside, removing her shoes before proceeding any further. Yui stood there with her hands folded and a pleasant, hostess-like smile. "Would you like something to drink, Mio-chan?"

"Ah, water would be great, thank you." Yui nodded and disappeared into the next room, her soft humming soon drowned out by chatter coming from another room. Mio decided to see who had shown up already, but a much louder voice demanded her attention.

"Mio-chaaaan!" She could only turn around before someone nearly ran right into her, wrapping their arms around her in a tight hug. Eyes widening in surprise, Mio looked down to see...

"Yui?!" To her surprise, the girl she had just seen walk off one way had burst back in from a completely different direction, the energy she held almost visibly shimmering all over her body. Slightly loosening her grip, Yui looked up with a pout.

"Aww, does Mio-chan not remember me?" Wasn't that what Jun had said too?

"O-of course I remember you!" There was no way she was getting right back into that trap. "I just... I swear I saw you-"

"Here you go, Mio-chan!" Both girls turned to see Yui standing there, a glass of water in her hand. Mio's jaw slackened as she stared in utter confusion, her eyes moving between Yui and... well, Yui. For several moments, the only sounds came from the other room, but then realization reached Yui's - err, the one with the water - eyes. "Oh goodness, you probably don't remember me, right?" How many more things were still hiding within the dark recesses of her mind?

"S-sisters..." Mio murmured softly, realizing at about the same time that Yui must have a sister. It would make much more sense than a clone, though the resemblance between the two was uncanny. A soft blush graced her cheeks as she grew increasingly embarrassed at having not realized this from the start.

"Ehehe, sorry Mio-chan. I forgot that you forgot! That's my sister, Ui-chan!" As Ui slightly bowed, keeping the glass stationary in her hand, the conversation between Azusa and Jun came to mind. They had said Ui, but she had thought she'd just heard them wrong. So there _was_ a Ui, then. Which meant that she could play guitar, then. Apparently the sisters were similar in many other ways; scary.

With those greetings out of the way, Mio gratefully took the glass of water from Ui before Yui grabbed her hand and led her into the room with all the noise coming from it. A handful of people were either standing around or sitting on couches, chatting amicably. Mugi was instantly recognizable, along with Sumire and Nao, though neither Azusa nor Jun were there. A couple other people sat together talking whom Mio didn't know, but two others seemed vaguely familiar. She could have sworn she'd seen them in a dream or something.

"Ah, Mio-chan." Yui's voice came out as a whisper, and Mio had to strain slightly in order to properly hear her. "Do you remember them?" She pointed at the two Mio had just been thinking about, but no names came to mind. After shaking her head, Yui continued on. "That one there is Nodoka-chan..." She pointed to a girl with short brown hair and glasses. "... and that's Sawa-chan." Despite still looking youthful, 'Sawa-chan' had an older vibe around her, like a much older sister. The names did sound somewhat familiar, but she couldn't dredge up any memories of them, and it was giving her a slight headache to try. "Come on, you should say hi!"

* * *

Chatting with Nodoka and Sawako was a refreshing change of pace, and memories of them came back to her slowly but naturally as the day progressed. She was still slightly embarrassed at calling Sawako 'Sawa' several times before Nodoka quietly corrected her, but the light teasing over it wasn't as big a bother as she would have imagined. While the three of them talked, Yui flitted in and out of the conversation, almost bouncing around the room in her social eagerness. Several times Mio accidentally confused Ui for her older sister when she'd pop back into the room, and it was still a bit difficult to tell them apart, though she eventually drilled into her brain that Ui had her hair tied back.

When the sun had settled down beneath the horizon, Yui brought out several bottles of alcohol, offering a drink to everyone in the room. Most of the guests took a glass, though Ui politely abstained. Standing with Nodoka - Sawako had already downed two drinks and was commandeering one of the bottles - Mio held her own glass close to her face and examined the substance within. As far as she could remember, which was admittedly a faulty premise, she'd never had any alcohol, but maybe she had and just forgotten it. Looking at Nodoka, she shrugged slightly and took a sip, so Mio followed suit.

She nearly gagged on the liquid, a slight burning sensation lasting in her throat. Holding the glass away at a distance as if it had bitten her, she looked up to find Nodoka giggling slightly. "I guess bourbon's not really your thing, Mio."

"I guess not," she agreed, wishing she had more water to try and wash the taste out. As if telepathically aware of Mio's reluctance to finish consuming the remaining bourbon, Sawako swooped in and grabbed the glass from her hand, giving Mio a quick wink before scooting off. "How did she-"

"I wish I knew." Nodoka just shook her head and laughed. "You get used to it." Eventually Nodoka went to get something from the kitchen, but Mio was only alone for a moment before Yui came over and slung an arm across her shoulders, her smile clearly of an inebriated manner.

"Mioooo-chaaan." Yui tried to set down her empty glass, but there was no table to place it on, so she just gave up and dropped it on the couch, almost falling down with it. Mio had to grab her by the shirt to keep her from tumbling over. "Ehehe, thanks for coming to my party, Mio-chan." She gave Mio a quick hug, which had the added effect of keeping her balance.

"It's been fun." Which was true, even if she wasn't properly partaking in the more alcoholic portion of the festivities. Getting to talk to more people from her past was much better than studying. A wistful look overtook Yui, slightly surprising Mio when she realized that Yui wasn't looking at her. Rather, she was staring at some part of the wall, or perhaps nothing at all. It was at that point that Mio remembered something: she had no idea where Yui was going.

"Ah, Yui, where are you going anyway?"

"Eh?" Yui looked confused for a second, but the wistful look in her eyes was quickly replaced with bright remembrance. "Oh yeah, I'm going to Norway! Me 'n Geetah are gonna play power metal! Mwommm!" Jumping back - and nearly tripping over her own feet - Yui strummed on the air, her movements wild and eager before she finished with her hand curled into a fist and up high above her head. "Like that!"

"Impressive," Mio laughed, clapping softly as Yui bowed. "When are you coming back?" Was Yui a full time jetsetter now? And with Mugi studying abroad, that meant yet another friend who would be far away. That was likely inevitable though, even if things had gone the way they were supposed to. After all, would they have continued on their paths together? It wasn't any less disappointing though, but Mio wasn't going to worry Yui with that. Some parts of her life would have to be traversed alone.

"Hmmm..." Yui tapped her chin in thought, closing her eyes. When they opened again, she answered with an excited, determined "I don't know!" Mio just stared at her until she started to laugh. "Ehehe, sorry, sorry! Maybe a... month or two? Mugi-chan is studying in that region, and I told her I'd help her move back in." That made sense. They stood there in silence for a moment before that wistful look returned to Yui's eyes, a look that suddenly turned serious as she stared at Mio. "Yeah, you'd be great for her."

"Huh? Great for who?" What in the world was Yui talking about? Great for... who, Mugi? What did that mean?

"Great for who?" Yui repeated the question, her expression suddenly reverting back to its former cheeriness.

"That's what I asked."

"So did I." They stared at each other, one confused and one innocently happy, before they both laughed. Mio had no idea what Yui was on about, but for some reason her leading the conversation was strangely funny. Maybe she just misconstrued with Yui said, but that look in her eyes was one that seemed so out of place on her. She didn't know how to bring it up though, so she let it go.

* * *

"Thanks for coming! Sorry it's taken so long to see you."

"It's alright. Thanks for inviting me." Mio was saying goodbye to the Hirasawa sisters as her father waited to take her home. Everyone else was either leaving as well or had passed out. The party had been a welcome distraction for her, and her head felt clear enough to make a proper decision on where she would continue her education. As she was driven off into the night and back to her home, when the waving hands of the Hirasawas had disappeared into the past, she had decided to go to NWU. Of course, she would have to pass the entrance exams, and run the idea by her parents, but in that moment she felt confident that she would be successful. Pulling out her phone, she texted Azusa the news.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I'm hanging around the bottom today. Also, another chapter with no lyrics. I didn't think any would apply correctly to this one. I bet Yui and Ui could go around tricking people like Bill and Ben with how similar they look. I think I'm getting off topic. Hope you all enjoy the latest chapter! Oh, and one final thing: I made an edit to Mugi's dialogue in chapter four so that it fit better with how the story's going currently. Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter IX - I Hate to Love You

"So then she opens the door a third time, and still no one is there!" The lights were off, save for the sickly yellow glow of a flashlight, its dying bulb casting shadowy illumination across Jun's face. Her eyes gave off an appropriate look of fear, and the hand holding the light even shook, sending the dimmed glow across the walls before she steadied herself. "She closed the door, and turned around to go back to bed... and the ghost of her dead lover stood right there!" No screams came about from this revelation. Not even a small gasp of fear. Jun felt very disappointed.

"Oh come on, you two! Nothing? That was my scariest story yet!" With an annoyed huff, Jun flicked the flashlight's beam over towards her two friends, who had to shield their eyes.

"Ah, what the hell, Jun?" Azusa glared at her, or at least tried to through the blinding light. She had to settle for trying to bore holes through her own hand in the hope that Jun would get the message.

"Oops, sorry." With a guilty smile, Jun pulled back the flashlight and stood up to go turn on the actual lights, having to adjust her vision to being granted the ability to see properly again. Clicking off the flashlight, she pouted at Azusa and crossed her arms. "You were scared, admit it!"

Azusa just rolled her eyes, leaning back on her flattened palms with dismissive body language. "If that's your scariest story, you should stick to the guitar."

"So mean!" Jun couldn't help but laugh, though her eyes gleamed with curiosity as she looked at the other girl sitting there with a rather calm look upon her face. For all the tales she'd been told about how much of a scaredy-cat Mio was, she sure didn't seem scared; not in the slightest. "You too, Mio-senpai? Nothing at all?"

"Ah, it was a good story, Jun." Mio gave Jun a soft smile, which only gave Jun a further look of disbelief. Even Azusa was looking over in interest, their stares not escaping Mio's notice. "Did I... say something weird?"

"Those kind of stories usually... well, freak you out." With the way Jun was staring, it was like she was looking at a complete stranger. _'Pretty familiar feeling,'_ Mio thought to herself. Maybe she was supposed to be scared of the story. Had she forgotten to be afraid? Was that even possible? Scratching the back of her head, she smiled apologetically.

"Do they? Sorry, I guess I... forgot?" The statement came out more as a question, though she was definitely questioning herself. Why was she apologizing? Being scared wasn't a good thing. Silence continue to hang over them before Jun broke it with a cheery laugh.

"Haha, I'll just have to make it scarier next time! You'll both be shaking!"

Azusa rolled her eyes. "Dream on." Any lingering confusion seemed to dissipate after that, as the topic turned back to the reason Mio had come over to Azusa's in the first place: her choice of university. While nothing was set in stone obviously, Mio was determined to try and make it into NWU, and both Azusa and Jun were ecstatic about it. Mugi had let her know that Azusa and Jun were the only two to remain at the university, though she had come to find out that their two other band members, Sumire and Nao, were planning to attend as well.

It still felt weird to be entering university at the same time as those who hadn't yet been in high school when she'd graduated. At least Azusa would be there, but she'd be in her third year, so they'd have no classes together, and they wouldn't live in the same place. Their schoolwork would certainly keep them busy at all, which meant Mio would have to mostly lean on Sumire and Nao for any assistance. The thought made her slightly anxious, as she knew next to nothing about the two girls, and she didn't even know if they liked her. Maybe it was too soon to be thinking that, as they'd only - barely - met once, but it was hard not to consider it.

"So, Mio..." Mio looked up to find herself the center of attention again. "Have you thought about what you're going to major in?" Azusa's question gave Mio pause: she hadn't thought about it much at all. She didn't even have an idea.

"Ah..." She didn't know what to say, biting her lip softly in thought. What did she want to do? It took a lot of her time and energy studying just to get into university, with the rest of her time going to her bass playing and friends. Zoning out, she tried to dig deep within her slightly-fractured memory banks to try and dredge up a memory of what she had wanted to do back when she was in high school, but she drew a blank. There was a somewhat frustrated look on her face when she tuned back in.

"Don't worry about it, Mio-chan," Jun piped in, flashing a toothy grin. "Plenty of students don't know what they're going to do their first year. You have lots of time to decide!" Azusa nodded in agreement, making Mio feel a little bit better. Still, she was going to be older than those unsure students. Did that 'time off' really excuse her from being so non-committal?

"No need to be down. We should be celebrating!" Jun jumped up and started off for the kitchen. "You got champagne or something, Azusa-chan?"

"A-ah, wait! Jun! She hasn't even applied yet!" Getting on her feet, Azusa raced after Jun, who was laughing somewhere out of sight, presumably near the kitchen. Mio couldn't help but laugh as well, amused by their antics. Even if this was the kind of thing she couldn't remember, it still felt normal.

Of course, Azusa was right. She needed to apply first, and pass the entrance exam. With the desire to fully reconnect with her friends though, the fires of wanting to do her best were fully stoked. Starting tomorrow, she would get right back into studying, and nothing would keep her from regaining her life.

* * *

 _Those lips tasted like guilt. She tried to ignore it, but it made her stomach turn with disgust, and she forced herself to pull away. "Something wrong?" The question sounded more perfunctory than anything, as looking at their face showed they didn't seem confused about her actions. Maybe after all this time, they were well-versed in her quirks and insecurities, but she didn't want to think about it._

 _"No, I just... don't want to take too long." It was a weak excuse, especially for something that was wrong, something that had no right to be occurring. Her voice came out as a tired whisper, though there was no reason for discreetness... except for the guilt. The burning, ever-present shame never left, and she suspected it never would, because she was weak._

 _Another kiss, another turbulent ride, however brief, of thrill and unmasked grief. Somehow, it was only when their lips were locked that she could allow her true feelings to exist in the open, silently etched upon her face. There was no one left to explain them too, no one who she would dare reveal the feelings that were threatening to destroy her from the inside out. This was her cross to bear._

 _"You're right. Sorry to waste your time." The words stung her, and for a moment she was frozen as they turned to leave. Before they could depart, however, mobility returned to her body and she grabbed at their wrist, holding it firmly and forcing them to turn back around._

 _"Wait, don't... don't say that." Even through whispering, her voice sounded small; meek. Guilt was laced throughout every word, and she knew there wasn't any apology that would do justice. She couldn't stop messing up. "You're not a waste of time."_

 _"I felt like you do, you know?" That gave her pause. She knew exactly what they were talking about, but it wasn't a topic they discussed too much. It wasn't a topic she wanted to discuss now. "I got over it, though. It's not too late for you to either, but it will be eventually." Her grip slackened, and they left without another word. Pressing her hands against her eyes, she tried to hold back the oncoming flood of emotions that had become so natural when left to her own devices._

 _She wasn't over it yet._

* * *

The days were passing by quicker than she thought. As Mio had promised herself, she was studying fervently to prepare for the entrance exams, and that day was drawing closer and closer. While taking a break, she wondered how Yui's flight was going. After all, her plane had taken off mere hours ago. That also meant that soon Mugi would be heading to the same region. A small sense of loss infiltrated her thoughts as she knew that soon enough, the friends she had only just begun to reconnect with would soon be out of her life again.

Shaking her head to try and chase away those bad thoughts, she reasoned with herself that they could still talk. That was what technology was for. It just wouldn't be the same. Then again, it had been so long since things had been 'the same' that maybe this would be the new normal. She didn't know if that was comforting or not.

With her thoughts successfully infiltrated by longing of the past, _she_ came up again. It had been quite awhile since she'd allowed herself to think about Ritsu, but now with her mind sinking back into a past she no longer felt a part of, it was too difficult to push aside the thought of one she used to call a friend. Their only meeting since she was discharged from the hospital had been tense, and secretly she wished things had gone differently.

She had told herself that she was done with wanting to reconnect, as she had no desire to be where she wasn't wanted. Still, it wasn't as if she had tried very hard. She hadn't been given a chance, but still... If she wanted things to go back to the way they were, didn't that inevitably mean that Ritsu had to be involved? Biting her lower lip, Mio tapped hesitantly on her phone, looking at a number that had not been touched since she'd been reunited with the phone. Her finger hovered over the green 'call' button, debating whether or not to go through with it.

After nearly a minute of hesitation, she left the screen with a small sigh. She reasoned with herself that this kind of thing was better discussed in person, but in the back of her mind she knew that having a conversation with someone she once called her best friend no longer seemed normal. It wasn't a good feeling.

* * *

Standing outside of Ritsu's house felt even more foreign than it did the 'first' time. Mio tugged on her sleeves nervously, hoping no one walked by and saw her. They'd wonder what she was doing, and she knew how weird she must look just standing there. It was an idea born of cowardice, one where she stood in place under the assumption that Ritsu would at some point leave the house. She might not even be home, or maybe she wouldn't come outside for days, and then what? She couldn't stand outside forever: already her legs were slightly sore from the lack of rest, and she hadn't even been there that long.

If waiting there for no one to appear made her feel dumb, the chance that Ritsu _would_ come outside made her feel extremely apprehensive. She'd tried to plan out what to say, but nothing had come to mind, and so she stood there with no guarantee of a conversation and nothing to say if she was even granted one. For all she knew, she might just get the door slammed in her face for her troubles. Was this really worth it?

She was there for an hour, and by the time sixty minutes had gone by she was hiding behind some bushes, having given up on standing twenty minutes prior. Now she was sitting on the concrete, wondering how long she was going to wait before giving up the facade and go home, when the door opened. The sound caught her off guard, and through the bushes she could see Ritsu, or rather mostly her hair, but it was unmistakably her. She was speaking to someone, but Mio couldn't see who they were.

This was the time to stand up and talk to her, regardless of the fact that she had nothing planned to say. However, she was nervous enough about the prospect of trying to bridge the gap of their former friendship by herself, but with someone else there to hear, she completely lost her nerve. Sitting there, she watched until she could no longer see Ritsu, and still she waited until the footsteps faded from her ears. Even then, she waited a couple minutes more, before she gingerly picked herself up and slowly trudged home. The entire walk felt uncomfortable, and her mind wouldn't let go of the fact that she'd failed. Hell, she hadn't even tried. It just seemed too big of a chasm to cross. Ritsu clearly didn't want her in her life anymore. Maybe things just couldn't be the way they were before.

 **-lyrics- I Hate to Love You  
** You occupy my mind even though I'm the protester  
My mind's a criminal, and you've come to arrest her  
Thinking those thoughts I should never have thought  
The time we've spent's so little, but I think on it a lot  
When you're hunting me down without even trying  
I'm saying I'm fine but I've always been lying  
Can't you hear me when I'm calling your name?  
Inside of my mind, where everything's the same

I don't like pretending, but this isn't working  
How are you in your room and in my mind lurking?  
Maybe I want lies just so I can sleep  
The way you throw me out just makes me feel cheap  
Hold me, don't hold me, I don't know what I want  
Your innocent eyes always seem to taunt  
I won't say it aloud, but it's always been true  
I'm feeling so blue, I just hate that I love you

You're the only cancer that keeps me alive  
I own this ride, but you're the one who drives  
Hanging on for dear life, how ironic is that?  
When I'm closer to death than you were ever at  
I'll fix every statue of you that's cracking  
Gluing the pieces with all that I'm lacking  
Cradling your memory where the gold burns down  
It's all pyrite, but that's my life, encased in a frown

I don't like pretending, but this isn't working  
How are you in your room and in my mind lurking?  
Maybe I want lies just so I can sleep  
The way you throw me out just makes me feel cheap  
Hold me, don't hold me, I don't know what I want  
Your innocent eyes always seem to taunt  
I won't say it aloud, but it's always been true  
I'm feeling so blue, I just hate that I love you

I don't want my feelings to be misconstrued  
I love you... but I hate to love you


	10. Chapter X - Ars Moriendi

**Author's Notes:** A new chapter less than a month after the last chapter? Blasphemy! Really, I can explain though. I have another fic that I've been writing for another anime, and I've been really into writing that. On top of that, the more time that passes since I watched K-On!, the less attached I grow to it. I still like the anime, of course (and the manga), and I have no plans of stopping this. I still have ideas for what I want to do; they're just appearing slower than I'd like. Thank you all for being patient and continuing to read this!

* * *

It was somewhere she had been many times. While it had been years since she'd set foot in these halls, her steps echoed alone off the walls often over the past several months. The contradiction was striking, but she knew a simple explanation for it: she was dreaming.

Mio knew she was dreaming whenever she walked the halls of her former school, but it seemed to always draw her in, night after night, and she didn't have the power to break away. Sometimes figures of her past would greet her, accuse her, accost her, and sometimes she would be cursed to wander alone for as long as her dreams desired. Tonight seemed like the latter, as it felt like she had been walking for hours without a single person in sight, looking longingly into empty classrooms.

It must have been much simpler when this was where she went every weekday. Through her assorted memories, made hazy by the throes of the dreamscape, she could remember being, if not necessarily carefree, a lot less burdened by loss. Loss of friends, of time, of a chance. This was her life now, and it was a waste to dwell on what she couldn't control. It was hard, though.

She found herself standing in front of the Light Music club room again, a room she seemed to find in her dreams as often as she once entered it in reality. Twisting the doorknob, she went inside, expecting club activities to be going on as usual. Instead it was empty, a thin layer of dust covering the furniture. There was no sign that anyone had been in here in some time.

The aquarium where the club's mascot, Ton-chan, once lived was still there, but no turtle inhabited it. Water still filled the box, but it was a yellowish-green, as if it hadn't been cleaned in quite awhile. It was a dream, though: it was only a dream. When she closed her eyes, she opened them to the same scene. The dream wasn't ready to let her go.

Muttering to herself in frustration, Mio walked over to the window and lifted the blinds. It was light outside, which seemed strange, since she felt like it was supposed to be night. The sun was setting, and as it set a lone figure walked up towards the school. From this distance, she couldn't tell who it was, but she still watched until they disappeared from view, more than likely having already reached the front doors. If she wasn't going to wake up yet, maybe it was best to leave. Turning around to head for the door, Ritsu was standing right in front of her.

Jumping back in alarm, Mio heard the glass crack slightly as her wide eyes stared directly at her former friend. "Can't you feel it?" Mio tilted her head in confusion, wondering why her dreams had to be so cryptic. Ritsu walked up to her, no hint of emotion on her face as she grabbed Mio's shoulders and shoved her against the glass. She cried out as the window cracked further, though she couldn't turn around to see it.

"Look how empty things are when you're around." A small grin formed on Ritsu's face, but there was no happiness there, no teasing expression: just nothing. "You're turning all of your memories into dust."

"N-No... This isn't real." Mio shuddered, her voice not sounding as convincing as she hoped. The grip on her shoulders tightened, the glass behind her creaking louder.

"You should have died." The glass shattered, and she was falling. Everything became black as the sun set.

* * *

The sun was shining down on her body, heating up any exposed skin. Mio was grateful that she hadn't been forced to lug her bass and amp all the way to the school, as Miss Yamanaka had volunteered to drive her there. It had taken a chain to set things in motion, as Mio first had to text Mugi, since she had no way of getting into the school during vacation. Mugi had then contacted Miss Yamanaka, who offered to unlock the front doors and let Mio in, not to mention drive her over there.

Mio was glad to not have been pressed on her reasons for wanting to go back to her old school, bass slung over her shoulder. The truth was, she didn't really know herself, so she couldn't have given a good answer regardless. Maybe it was her dream, which still stuck with her hours after waking up. Regardless, it just felt like something she wanted to do.

Nobody seemed to question her actions anymore. It probably was because of what happened, but Mio didn't know whether to be grateful to avoid tough questions or bothered that everyone was treating her like some kind of fragile being. She just wanted things to be normal again, not to get special treatment that sometimes ended up making her feel isolated.

Miss Yamanaka - Sawako - said she wanted to look over some papers from the previous semester, and showed Mio which room she would be in. It was under the guise of a simple walk, but she knew that Sawako was doing this under the assumption that she didn't remember her way around the school. She felt a twinge of annoyance, but she quickly reminded herself that people were just trying to take care of her. It still bothered her.

Making her way to the Light Music club room was slow, her still-recovering legs compounded by the bass and amp she was carrying. It had been weird to call Sawako - an adult - by her first name, but she had to remind herself that she was an adult now too. That didn't seem right at all: she still felt like a seventeen-year-old student, but that time had long since passed, whether or not she had been there to experience it. Her mood was not great when she entered the room.

Once she walked inside, she set down the amp with a sigh of relief. The place wasn't too much different than it was in her dream, but it was a lot cleaner. She was surprised that it looked almost exactly like she remembered it. Shrugging it off, she plugged in the amp, then slipped her bass from her shoulders and set it down gently, unzipping its home and bringing it out into the light.

Practicing gave her a comforting feeling, and she was glad that she was regaining her old playing ability. It brought her purpose and something to do outside of studying and getting lost in old memories. With her bass connected to the amp, she strummed the strings to test the sound, then tuned them a touch to get the sound just right. After that, she began to play.

It wasn't a song she had played in her old band, but a new, slow-tempo bass strumming, with more effort put into it to make up for the lack of accompanying instruments. With no one there, she felt more free to express herself, but simultaneously lonely without anyone there to hear it. The paradoxical nature of her thoughts bugged her, but she tried to push it out of her mind and continued to play. Eventually she began to sing, the words she had written down days earlier flowing into the air effortlessly.

Even though she knew that she had been in a band, and she had heard with her own ears her hands play the bass and her voice sing out melodious words, she still found it hard to believe that she had done so. At least, it felt that way until she was playing, until she was hearing her own voice and everything seemed right, like things could actually be exactly what she wanted them to be. That was why she wanted to keep playing.

Something reached her ears, a sound that she was definitely not making. Though she continued to play, she strained to hear exactly what it was. It sounded like someone was tapping on the wall, just outside the room. It sounded like someone was _drumming_ just outside the room. Slowly and carefully she stopped playing, setting her bass down on its case. Then she ran towards the door, flinging it open and staring out into the corridor. No one was there.

Mio frowned slightly, stepping out and looking around, then leaning over the wall to look down the stairs, but no one was there. Had she imagined it? It had seemed real, but... She pinched her arm suddenly, letting out a small yelp of pain. No, she wasn't dreaming, but maybe she was just hearing what... what she... What was she thinking? What she wanted to hear? No, that wasn't true at all. She didn't want it to be true.

Her thoughts were a jumbled mess when she went back into the room, but rather than return to her bass, she walked to the window and opened the blinds. She half-expected to see someone out there, but it was empty. Who was she kidding? The only thing about her dream that she wanted to be true was to see Ritsu walking on school grounds.

* * *

It was dumb. It was stupid, and it wasn't healthy to dwell on it, but dwell on it Mio did. She had kept Ritsu successfully out of her mind for weeks, but now the memory of her former friend was creeping back in, and she wasn't able to shut it out. Late at night and feeling lost, she decided she needed to talk to someone, so she grabbed her phone and called Azusa.

"Mio-chan? What's up?"

"Azusa, I..." Mio bit her lip, suddenly feeling self-conscious about voicing out her issues. This should have been something she could have done on her own. She didn't want to give everyone a reason to keep handling her carefully, but she really didn't know what to do.

"Are you worried about university?"

"No, it's not that.

"Ritsu then?" She nailed it right on the head. The silence on Mio's end gave Azusa all the answers she needed. "Mio-chan, this isn't something that you can force. It just takes time.

"I don't have time, though!" Mio shouted in frustration, feeling well-hidden worries coming up front and center as she allowed herself to be open and honest with her friend. "The entrance exam is next week, and university is up after that. If I make it, it's only going to be you there, and you're two years up on me now. I won't have any more chances to fix things! I..." She hadn't realized she'd begun to cry until a choked sob cut off her flow. Nearly dropping the phone in surprise and embarrassment, she hoped that Azusa hadn't heard. No such luck.

"Mio-chan, are you crying?" Mio tried to respond, but another sob broke her concentration. Damn these untenable emotions.

"D-Don't cry, Mio-chan! I-I'll come right over!"

"Wait! Azusa, don't." She quickly ran the back of her hand across her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears. This wasn't what she needed, even if it was what she wanted. Her constricted heart wanted someone to come and comfort her, but she needed to listen to her brain, and it was telling her the truth: that doing this would only reinforce the notion that she wasn't strong enough to do things on her own. She was strong!

"I'm... I'm fine, okay? I just... I just want to try to make things okay again. I want things to go back to the way they were. I know it can't, I just... I just want to try." There was silence on the other line, and Mio wondered if Azusa was going to tell her the truth, that things could never go back to the way things were. Maybe she'd even insist on coming over.

"... Okay, Mio-chan. I understand. If you want, we can try to figure out a way for you to talk to her again. We can make sure you're able to get what you want to say out there." A small smile graced Mio's lips, relieved that Azusa would agree to such naivety. Maybe it could work.

"Thank you, Azusa. I don't want to take up too much of your time, though. I know you have to prepare for university as well."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Mio-chan! I really want to try and help." It was nice that Azusa wanted to help. Mio felt a stronger connection with her than anybody else in her life at the moment, and it was relieving that her going back and forth on whether or not to talk to Ritsu wasn't a point of derision. However, she knew that she needed to talk to Ritsu on her own. After all the dreams she had, she had finally had a revelation, a breakthrough of sorts. She knew now that she had to go up to Ritsu and say sorry.

She would apologize for not dying.


	11. Chapter XI - Won't You Repair Me?

**Author's Notes:** I can't believe I'm actually here, considering this wasn't planned until the last three paragraphs of this chapter, but this is it. This is the last chapter of K-Oma! It's been months since I started, and I feel this is the best place to end this. I really want to thank all of you for sticking around and reading this. It gave me a lot of confidence to continue writing stuff like this, and I do plan on continuing. This story may be done, but I've had an idea for a continuation of this for quite a while. A 'sequel', you might say. I believe I will try to start that, though I can't promise it _will_ happen, or when it will even come out if it does. You know me though, it may just start next week because I just get into these random writing moods. But enough about what _could_ happen, this final chapter _is_ happening, so hope you enjoy it, and thank you again for reading K-Oma!

* * *

So many thoughts were racing through her mind, it sometimes felt as if she was standing in the middle of a race track, trying desperately to stay out of the way. It made her studies tough to concentrate on, to the point where she'd read over the same material several times on accident, yet gained no knowledge from it. With a sigh, Mio closed her textbook and looked up to the ceiling, wishing that all the answers were scrawled upon it; the answers that no textbook could provide.

This was the last chance she'd get to study, since the entrance exam was tomorrow, and she was wasting what little time she had. Her mind was plagued with what she wanted to do, however; what she needed to do. Telling herself to talk to Ritsu was a lot easier than actually doing it, as she'd already proved to herself. Standing up, she decided to get ready for bed: her mind was too clouded to continue studying. Hopefully all her previous efforts would be enough.

When she fell asleep, she knew that she was dreaming. Clarity of the fact didn't make her less apprehensive though. She was walking home with her friends, a moment she'd seen plenty of times in her dreams before. Now that all of her friends' faces were no longer obscured, it felt real, more easy to connect to. How nice it would be to just stay in here, to continue living the life she should have been leading. _'No.'_ She shook her head furiously, chasing the warm thoughts from her head. This was only a dream, and she knew it was only a dream. This was not where she belonged anymore.

"What's wrong, Mio?" Mio's eyes widened in surprise as she turned to look at Ritsu, who was staring at her with concern in her eyes. This had never happened before. Ritsu was talking to her? What was her dream trying to tell her now?

"Uh, n-nothing. Nothing's wrong, just..." She bit her lip, wondering if she should just say what was troubling her. It was a dream, after all: there wouldn't be any consequence from speaking her mind. "I just wish that this was real."

"Eh?" Ritsu blinked, utter confusion in her eyes. Then she began to laugh, patting Mio on the shoulder. "You sure you're okay there, Mio?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Mio pouted slightly, turning to look straight ahead. They were nearing a crosswalk, but this wasn't how things normally went. Ritsu was talking to her, and normally at that. Why was her dream being so... normal? It... _was_ a dream, right? Yes, it was, it had to be. She knew it was. She couldn't get confused and let herself be sucked down into what wasn't real.

"This isn't normal, though. You know it's not, Ritsu."

"Why wouldn't this be normal? We walk home together all the time."

"We don't do this anymore!" They had all stopped, and Mio found herself yelling, conscious of her friends' stares on her. "It's been years! Don't pretend like this just happens every day!" Why was everyone looking at her strangely? Yui and Mugi both looked slightly frightened, and even Azusa looked like she was worried about what was going on. This was _her_ dream! Why was everyone acting as if she was crazy?

"Mio..." Ritsu put her hand back on Mio's shoulder, frowning slightly. "We did this yesterday, remember? We've been doing this for years. Don't tell me you forgot." She laughed quietly, but went right back to frowning as she moved her hand up to the back of Mio's head. "Did you forget? Did you hit your head or something?"

"I told you I'm fine!" She swatted Ritsu's hand away, stepping back in confusion. This wasn't right. Everyone was acting so normal when they shouldn't be speaking at all. This was just a dream, she knew it was just a dream. They shouldn't be acting like it wasn't. Why were they acting like it wasn't? "This is just a dream. It's just a dream."

Now everyone was looking at her with great concern, and she hated it. They were pitying her again. She looked down at the sidewalk instead, anywhere but their worried eyes. Their presences could be felt coming closer to her, and the hands that resided on her shoulders felt so warm, so real. It shouldn't feel like this. Tears began to fall from her eyes as she fought with herself for control, to break free from this longing spell.

"M-Mio-senpai, are you crying?"

"It's okay, Mio-chan. We're here for you."

"N-No! No, you're not! You're not real!" Mio pushed back from her friends, their concerned stares burning her skin. This was what she wanted, all that she wanted, and she was rejecting it. It wasn't real, and she had to fight every urge to run into their warm embraces, fighting every tear that stung her cheeks. Turning around wildly, she saw a car coming. Everything seemed to just fall into place, except for the fact that now she could see what was going to happen.

"Mio, come back!" She ignored the cry, running out into the street, staring directly into the eyes of her fate. A loud scream reached her ears, but she didn't know who it was from. The car, unable to turn out of the way in time, hit her body, knocking the breath out of her, and everything went black.

Mio woke with a start, clutching the covers tightly with a cold sweat running down her neck. Her breathing was heavy, and she placed a hand on her chest just to make sure her heart was still beating. Tears stung the corners of her eyes as she threw the covers off and reached for her phone. She had to make sure this was real, that she wasn't being thrown from dream to dream. Her last call with Azusa checked out, as did the last few texts she had sent. This was real.

As she laid back down in bed, Mio wished it wasn't. That dream felt so real, trying to pull her in with promises of life as it used to be. She wanted it so badly that she almost let herself get lost within her dreams just for a taste of it. Would she have woken up again? She didn't want to even guess. It was with great reluctance that she tentatively shut her eyes again, trying to return to what she had just escaped from. She needed the sleep: there were only so many hours until the entrance exam. The fear of falling back into that false Elysium didn't go away until sleep finally took her.

* * *

Her mind was not completely on her exam. At least she wasn't alone. Allowing herself a moment to glance across the room, she could see that Sumire was tapping her pencil quietly on the desk, staring off at nothing in particular. A couple rows down from her, a purple-haired girl ran her hands across the desk with her eyes closed, as if trying to channel the right answer through the wood. If only.

The ticking of the clock on the wall seemed much louder than it should be, and Mio noticed several pairs of eyes glancing at it more than once. It was tough to concentrate with the sound slapping against her ears. Halfway done, she felt her mind drifting back to her dream, no matter how much she tried otherwise. After falling asleep again, she spent the rest of the night in the dark, but she couldn't escape how she felt in the waking world.

She felt like she needed to talk to Ritsu, to get what she had to say over with, but there was this pesky exam keeping her from doing that. Well, that and the fact that her legs still trembled at the thought of trying to start a conversation again. It was hard to forget just how awfully the first time went. When she saw Nao stand up after finishing her exam, she realized that she was only halfway done. She hurried to resume concentrating.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she finally finished, standing up with an air of quiet satisfaction as she gave her papers to the proctor. She flashed Sumire a thumbs up before leaving the room, her mind temporarily clear as she made her way to the front of the building. That was where Azusa and Mugi would be waiting to take her back home. However, when she got there, she couldn't see them. There were only three people milling around the area, but it was only one of them that nearly made Mio fall over in shock.

"R-Ritsu?!" After all that planning, and after all that worrying, she was just sitting there, looking around aimlessly like she was just normally there. Her cry, however, got Ritsu's attention, and when her gaze fell on Mio, an awkward tension immediately fell upon them, one that could only be felt by them.

"'Sup Mio." Ritsu waved like nothing was wrong, like seeing each other was something that normally happened, but they both knew that wasn't true, and it ended up sounding forced. Anything Mio might have wanted to say ended up trapped in her throat, which suddenly felt very dry. She needed more preparation, like five minutes... or weeks. More than zero, that's for sure.

"Can we... go outside?" Ritsu pointed casually at the door, and Mio could only nod dumbly in response, her feet moving her towards the door when her brain wouldn't make her walk under her own power. Ritsu held the door open for her, and she walked out without being fully aware of her actions. Now they were standing outside by themselves, and it was quiet enough to where Mio knew Ritsu could hear her heart pounding against her chest.

The silence was deafening. Ritsu scratched the back of her head, seemingly unsure of what to say, and Mio's nerves froze her up. Eventually they both tried to break the silence.

"Mio, I-"

"I'm sorry." They both blinked and stared at each other before Ritsu laughed quietly and ran a finger over her hairband.

"Eheh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"No, I'm sorry. I... I really am sorry."

"Wait, _you're_ sorry?" Ritsu tilted her head in confusion. "For what?"

"I..." Well, it was now or never. This was what her dreams had been pushing her to do. Time to take the plunge. "I'm sorry for what I put you through; what I put all of you through. I'm sorry that I didn't die."

The silence returned as Ritsu stared at Mio, slack-jawed. She wondered if her apologizing was really that much of a surprise when Ritsu finally responded. "Look, I know I acted rude, but that's not cool, Mio."

"Eh?" Now it was Mio's turn to be confused. They seemed to be going back and forth on that emotion. "I don't understand."

"You're... You're serious, then?" Mio nodded, which seemed to freeze Ritsu up again. It didn't take long for her to react, though. Ritsu suddenly grabbed the surprised Mio by the shoulders and shook her. "What are you talking about?! Don't say that!"

"I-I'm sorry!" Mio was thoroughly confused, being shook by a now-distraught Ritsu. What had gone wrong? She was so sure this was what her dreams had been hinting at, but the response couldn't have been more unexpected.

"Stop it! Stop apologizing!" Ritsu was crying now, and Mio felt her breath hitch. She hadn't meant to, but she had made things worse. "I stayed here to apologize to _you_ , and you tell me _this_? Unacceptable, Mio!"

"Y-You stayed here?" Ritsu let Mio go and looked off to the side, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"Azusa and Mugi told me that I needed to talk to you before we go back to university." _'Oh.'_ Ritsu wiped her eyes and coughed into her hand. "Look, I just... They left, and I'm the only one here who can give you a ride home. We can talk on the way back to your place." Still confused, her words failed her once more, and Mio could only nod as she fell behind Ritsu on the way to her car, having never imagined a scenario like this would've ever played out with how things had started.

* * *

For the first few minutes of the drive, the only sound came from the radio playing a pop song Mio didn't recognize. Then again, there was probably a lot of popular music she'd never heard now. "Was my apology not good?" A hint of worry crept into her voice as she asked.

"There was no reason for you to apologize," Ritsu scoffed, glancing at Mio for a moment before returning her eyes to the road. "I was being a big jerk to you, and I just... needed some time. I'm sorry I acted that way." This was definitely not what Mio expected, and she didn't know how to feel about it. Had her dreams been leading her down a false path, feeding her wrong ideas based on her insecurities?

"I-It's okay." They lapsed into silence again, Mio looking out the window as the scenery passed by in the blink of an eye. "I wish things could be like they used to be."

"Yeah, so do I." When Mio looked back, Ritsu was fiddling with the radio dials. Soon enough, a familiar sound started to filter through the speakers: _NO, Thank You!_ A small smile appeared on her face, and when she looked towards Ritsu, she could see the same smile. For the moment, it was like their first heated conversation, or the tension surrounding them just ten minutes ago, was gone, replaced with a sense of familiarity. She couldn't help but to sing along, and when Ritsu's voice joined her own, things seemed right, more right than they had been in so long.

Things would never truly be the same again, and somewhere inside her mind she knew that. Maybe that wasn't as important as she had made it out to be. She couldn't live her whole life in the past, and no one knew what the future was going to bring. It was right here though, in the present, where she was living, and that was the one thing she could control. Right here, singing with the woman who had once been her best friend, that was where she truly wanted to be.

For once, her mind was truly clear. There was no worries about university or how to talk to Ritsu. There was no longing for the past or hanging on to confusing dreams. This was what she wanted, and their voices sang powerfully down a road that was becoming familiar once again.

 _No, thank you! I don't need memories_

 _Because I firmly and deeply love "now"_

 _Getting immersed in my memories is a sweet, adult-like luxury_

 _But not yet... I want to hold back from it._

After months of waiting, months of worrying, Mio could finally smile without restraint. She was finally home.

 **-lyrics- See You Tomorrow  
** Your smile is so foreign, but I remember it clearly  
Putting all of your heart into it, I love that dearly  
And I know what I say is true  
I don't want to see the sun, I just want to see you  
I was blind, but now I can see  
I can see how things are going to be  
And the future's unknown, but we're not there yet  
So the past is best left as an empty threat  
We can fly in our dreams when we want to hide  
But I'm content that it's you that I walk beside  
Our bodies are vessels that we merely borrow  
Our currency is time, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow

There's nothing I wanted more than to return  
To the past like a book but I never learned  
That it's the here and now that I'll always cherish  
Not the future I don't live in nor the past where I perished  
This is me, and I'm happy that I'm who I am  
And I'm elated that you're here to understand  
We can laugh, we can cry, we can sing and we'll try  
To put together the puzzle of you and I  
We can look back on times lost to memories  
But I'm just pleased that it's you who's next to me  
Maybe the future holds unending sorrow  
Our faith's in our hearts, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow


End file.
